Quote:
Originally Posted by
Ryushikaze
Current continuity/ Animated Series Batman. They're basically the same at this point. They're even both dating wonder woman.
Ain't that gonna be a "
Crisis" of... uh... Love?" Okay, that was a spur of the moment joke and I should have just shot the horse before he died...
Anyway...
To answer Paro's question (thanks for
enthusiastically asking :mad: :D j/k ) with a pre-scripted detailed explaination wiith as much rehearsed ease as I can.muster... Just remember, you asked for it... :laugh:
I saw Batman Begins, and I have to admit that was a good over-the-top action film, but... NOT a Batman film. This movie gets my "Special Brownies" rating.
1. Bruce Wayne is over the grief that his parents are dead, but his new motivation is to be a 'symbol' of 'hope' and something 'good' in the City of Gotham of old, by dressing up as a lunatic vigilante in a scary bat costume... (yeah, that inspires hope and goodness) I feel safer already. Also, going back to his 'new' motivation, it's SO frickkin' OBVIOUS that his 'fear' is a set-up for the antagonist of the film: The Scarecrow... Man, I almost retched when I heard him talk about fear because it was the most obvious foreshadowing... EVER! Where's the angry bitter dark knight of vengence that was spurred on to deal justice not because like most criminals, "Mommy and Daddy Didn't Love Me"; but in Bruce/Batman's case "Mommy and Daddy Never Got a Chance To Love Me!" But people are eating those brownies up! They can't make enough of them or fast enough to keep up with their hunger.
2. Batman rescues the girl and stands in clear view in the bright lights so she can see him and really just to impress her. "So... You live around here? Wanna get some coffee? I just saved you're life, gimme them digits."
C'mon, even in the animated series, Batman would save you, but disappear or remain in the shadows so you don't really know if he's human or not. He never really (but on slight occassions) even let Jim Gordan see him directly in the comics or the animated series. The Batman is a 'boogey-man' and when he get's down, he get's down. Someone got a camera? Batman just boogies; he's gone before the flash hits.
3. Why does Batman drive a SUPED-UP GAS-GUSSLING HUMMER? I mean, really. How did he get that thing into the city without getting pulled over? Where did he park it? HOW could he park it? There's no alley big enough for that thing :laugh:! I'm assuming that's just appealing more to the Americans need for oversized cars that run people off the road and hold up the gas-pump. As you'll see later. Anyone GOT MILK! You can't enjoy the deliciousness of a good brownie without a glass of good old American FDA-Calcium-Enriched wholesome Nectar of the Sacred HOLY COW.
4. Batman want's the people of Gotham to know that he's a protector. In the scene where he's driving on the highway like a mad-man, of course trying to save "The Girl", he causes more destruction and death than the Flash could at rush-hour! Oops! Sorry several fellow drivers, I'm saving this one woman's life though I've probably just destroyed several generational lines doing so. I would find this more acceptable if this were the angry, bitter, Bruce/Batman it might be more plausiable that innocents were hurt, but still Tim Burton's Batman had chases and no one was directly hurt. So we'll take ONE brownie off for that one.
5.Batman has always been portrayed as having a private war on crime. He explains, or rather IT is explained because Batman doesn't have to explain himself. that the gear and costume are to strike fear into his enemies. So why is it that when Bruce and Alfred are building the Batcave and Bat-things, Bruce tosses a 'Batarang' and smiles at Alfred.. "Cool."...Like their building a "Bat-Treehouse" or something!
Yeah, okay... it IS cool, but Batman isn't about 'cool'. He's hell bent on dealing with the 'scum' of Gotham with his own brand of no-mercy- no-holds barred- beat his ass before the cops get a hold of em- tough love mommy and daddy didn't give 'em- JUSTICE!!!! It's not about the coolness.
But hey, here's another batch of brownies fresh out of the Bat-Oven... Alfred's so happy you're enjoying them! :D
And there's more, but I think that's enough... I figure you kids are pretty full off of them brownies... Huh? Yeah, I thought so.
So, I guess now you're wondering WHY do covet this movie with my rating of "Special Browines"?
Well, let's put like this in the rehearsed conclusion I have here.
Batman Begins is not a 'bad' movie to me. It's a great action movie, but not a Batman Movie. Too far a departure from the character we have known and... uh,... related to.
Now as I said, it's a great action movie and by the points I've just given a lot of people leaving the theatre suddenly realized my points past the sensationlism that thrilled them and inspired them to test the limits of their bladders after buying the Jumbo Sprite with the popcorn combo. They step off, not come off, the peak of euphoric high just slightly... It's like looking at the behind the scenes of Seame Street; seeing the guy in the Big Bird... (hard to say it)... costume... (Big Bird is real... He's real... So is Mr. Snuffalufagus... However the hell you spell his name)...
I summerize it up like this... Let's say I just gave you some brownies and they're the best brownies you've ever tasted. You keep begging me to tell you what's in it? What's the secret ingredient?
"I can't tell you. It'll ruin it for you." I tell them.
"C'mon man! Ummm-MMM! What's this made of?"
"Okay... You really wanna know." I cave, but testing them for certainty.
"Yes!" they shout in unison and begin scarfing down a fresh batch....
"Huh. You're sure. I mean
reeeeeally sure?"
"YES! PLEASE!!" they beg.
"Okay... It's Bulls**t. Bulls**t. And it was DEE-LICIOUS, wasn't it?"
"... ... ... Wha-?"
"Yeah, that's right. Bulls**t. I just fed you some Bulls**t, and you ate it all up. Just like the bulls**t they fed you in the movie; all the traditional American glamourizing of explosions, destruction, and confusing, albeit realistic, fighting, and just basic over-the-top Bulls**t. Now, even though I just pointed it out... You're still loving them brownies now aren't ya? Uh-huh. Sure you are.
Now for those of you that may ask... Like most bathrooms, the Restooms are just like when JFK was assassinated: Back and to the left; back and to the left. More brownies and milk are available in the breakroom... Enjoy.
My name is Pharoh Amon Khan.... Thanks for reading. :D
