Now, over the weekend, I had the displeasure of watching what I consider to be the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. It's called Dark Harvest 2: The Maize. It was randomly picked up out of my local Hollywood Video on a weekly video run, along with far superior titles.
Anyway, from the opening shots, I was able to tell instantly that the movie would suck. It looks exactly like something somebody would shoot as a home video, and the phrases, "low budget movie" and "B-grade movie" popped into my head.
There are so many ridiculous problems with it that I don't even know where to start. First of all, the cameraman needs to be shot in the face with a 12-gauge shotgun, because the camera was abysmal. You could literally see the leaves of the corn stalks sticking to the lens as the cameraman filmed the movie, in some scenes.
Also, the entire story is utterly predictable. It's a generic story involving a psychic guy named Shy who has a vision and goes to the local corn maze to save his two daughters from a killer. In other words, a generic cookie-cutter plot.
Also, there's this scarecrow guy with a scythe on the front of the DVD cover, but he didn't pop up once throughout the entire movie. Shy's daughters were both incredibly annoying, as well, screaming at literally EVERYTHING in their agitating, high-pitched voices.
Also, for some inexplicable reason, they seem to think a demon (who is painfully obviously a guy with a mask on) is real, and they run screaming from it. Later, this same guy jumps onto Shy, and Shy proceeds to throw him off of himself. When he exits the maze for a moment, the police start chasing him because he roughed the kid up a bit (which is hardly criminal, if at all). Then, he gets involved in some crazy scheme involving the killer murdering his two daughters (which is introduced into the story out of the blue).
Another problem are the parts which are just sheerly ridiculous. First of all, for some reason, they have a ripple effect on the screen which just served to make me want to snap the DVD in half and throw it off the Empire State Building even more whenever Shy had a vision, and it seems like three-quarters of the movie is spent watching Shy and his daughters run through the maze. Also, the first scene of the movie involves kids trick-or-treating...IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKIN' DAY!!! Also, for some reason, during the scenes involving Shy's daughters, there's a red mist inexplicably surrounding them. Not to mention Shy stops for a Coke right after he sees the vision of his daughters getting killed. Who in their right mind would stop for a drink when their children are in danger?! Finally, the killer is able to kill two fully armed policeman (which you don't see die) with just a crowbar, which is unreasonably ridiculous, as the cops would probably have shot him in the face.
The movie is hardly scary at all, and there's no action at all. The fight scenes are pathetic (if you can call them actual fights), and are not worth watching (as is the rest of the movie). This movie makes the Blair Witch Project seem Oscar-worthy. I hate and loathe this movie with every molecule of my being, and it deserves to burn in the same layer of hell that Uwe Boll is going to. Avoid this at all costs.
Anyway, has anybody else ever watched movies they've hated from start to finish?
