Originally Posted by baloki
Hello all, I post here now, with the intent of wishing you all a very merry Christmas, however, first I must tell you all a story. A story so dark, a story so chilling, that even the illustrious Citizen Bleys could not be forced to regal it, however I post it now so you can all be warned of the Site Before Christmas!
The story starts very simply, it starts with a child, a child so intelligent he became the scourge of the American Public School System, forcing them to flunk most of the students in that state for he never could be wrong. However one day this child discovered the internet and happened upon a small website, hidden behind a very small cave. This child's name was Spatvark and the website was Eyes on Final Fantasy. However, that isn't where the story starts, in fact that is where Spatty would like it to start, however there was one more horrendously evil then him, but we dare not utter his name on these hallowed forums should he return with his Moogle underlings and claim the seat of power among the Site Staff that is rightfully his.
So, away from the Moogles and their Roogle for now I feel, if I don't hurry Spatvark might get back early and whip me with his sharp tounge for sharing this with ye all. During that dark and stormy night, Loony BoB was working away in his mountain top lab, procasternating and and attempting to bring about world peace via the use of Candy Canes, suddenly a knock came at the door. It didn't knock once, nor twice, but thrice. With that the storm fell quiet as BoB rushed downstairs to greet his visitor, but when he swung open the doors was suddenly set upon by an army of rabid snowmen!
That's right everyone, Spatvark had found a way to use Christmas for his own ends, TO TAKE OVER THE FRONT SITE. It was about this time our two unlikely, and very lazy heroes appeared on the scene, hiding out in the fuss and bustle that was General Chat. Azar, a small boy armed only with a #cloak{color:red;:bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou:relative;} and #hat{color:sparkly;} and the aptly named Flying Mullet, his trusty hairpiece. During their times wandering the hallowed spammed threads that were held there, they noticed a dark cloud had decended upon the once jolly, merrymaking. They could sense evil was afoot and set off to the Site forum to investigate.
Upon their arrival they discovered, what can only be described as ho ho homicide! There were dead CKs and Admins everywhere and a newly errected castle stradling the centre, html snowflakes causing a blizzard making it hard to see. They set off at once, fought many an evil snowman and elf until finally they made it to Spatvarks castle, floating high above.
Knowing that he'd lose all the powers bestoed upon him by his magical cape Azar entered the castle and headed up the clocktower to face his nemesis, the evil Spatty! Once there they did battle, ice rained down, HTML was coded and finally Christmas was saved and Spatty was slain.
And now you know the terrible truth of why, every year, the ciddies are rigged so Spatvark cannot win Best Site Staff!
Have some Happy Holidays and a merry New Year from all on Site Staff (Except Spatty, hes still angry xD)
