Polo Pony's - Green Light [Review]

https://myspace.com/poloponys/music/songs

An album 16 years in the making, the Polo Pony's bring an emotional depth that is seldom seen in modern bands with their debut album "Green Light." Combining sweeping melodies with mild intensity akin to a wave crashing against a cliff, the album is truly an epic journey of a man who takes his medicine despite the trials and tribulations it brings, and ends as a master of technological prowess.

The first track, "Pepto Bismol" is richly layered in a complex forest of rippling soundscapes. It's easy to empathize with the lead singer as he vividly describes the not often discussed after effects of taking a seemingly harmless over the counter drug. Supported by the wickedly talented guitarist, each pluck of the string almost makes the listener feel as if they had a bottle of the fabled tonic itself.

What comes next is the ever popular radio smash "Popcorn." Just like all the Suicidal Tendencies wanted was a Pepsi, the desire the singer feels for a bag of popcorn is punctuated by the soulful singing heard on this monster ballad. Each drum beat symbolizes the explosion of hundreds of kernels in said bag of popcorn. This track is one for the ages, folks!

"Arrogance" is like Spinal Tap times 100. This song turns it up to 1100! A little known fact is that modern society can be credited from the Polo Pony's achievements. This song has been certified by the UN as 100% fact. Next month, the lyrics of this song will go up in every court house in the world as a matter of fact! I never knew where currency came from until this listen.

The Polo Pony's slow things down a bit with "24 - The Hidden Season." You see, back when the TV show in its prime, the Polo Pony's themselves were set to star alongside Jack Bauer himself for a season that they wrote. However, a nasty legal battle ensued over a creative difference and the end result was the right for the band to make this song. That way at least fans of the show would know what they were missing out on!

It should be obvious what "Jingle Bells" is. This chronicles the time the Polo Pony's had to save Thanksgiving from the cast of Dragon Ball Z. The voice actors were upset that they were not being paid enough to sit in a studio screaming, and if there is one thing the lead singer of the Polo Pony's hates it's sitting in a studio screaming. Anyway, they kept killing Turkeys and no one knew what to do until the band saved the day.

Designed to be the ultimate work out song, "Run At One Million Miles An Hour" has been successfully implemented as its own diet that really, really works! This features the fastest drums and guitar ever recorded! No studio tricks here, these guys are the real deal!

"Applesauce" blends technical death metal with hip hop jazz fusion chill wave. The end result just happens to sound similar to most of the songs on this album, but I guess this song is sort of like when you mix a bunch of drinks together. You know, no matter what combination you use it always ends up the same color eventually. Because of this, the Polo Pony's end up showing their true genius through this magnificent track.

And just when you think you heard it all "Rockin Out Like Never Before" has guitar playing so amazing that it sounds as if the guitarist is playing five guitars at the same time (with one of them being a double guitar). I emailed the guitarist and asked him if something like that was actually done and the only thing in the reply was this: ";)" Truly amazing.

We finally close with "Dude, your getting a dell." The lead singer bares his soul like no one in human history has ever done before. This is the track that caused Van Halen to hate each other, Buddy Holly's plane to crash, and nearly caused every band ever to quit on the spot. Nothing will ever top this masterwork of pure musicianship.

Final Review: A/11

Key Tracks: Popcorn/Arrogance/Run At One Million Miles An Hour/Dude, your getting a dell.