After dumping my first gf I went right after a girl that was part of the group we (ex and I) hung with during lunch. I had "noticed" her before my ex. She was in my first period weightlifting class the year before. She was very pretty, but it was her smile and personality that made her stand out. So as not to come on too strong, I invited her and her best friend to come along with me and my sisters friends (sister is <2years younger) on Halloween. Exchanged numbers with both of them.
We were together for over 2 years. Dumped her in my first year of college. I'd met a girl at the gym (she asked me to train her). My lust for the new girl got me thinking. Too young, hadn't "lived", needed more experience, and time alone.
I fell hard and fast for the girl from the gym. Caught myself slipping back into a serious relationship, broke up with her after a couple months. Strung her along for a couple years after.
This is where it gets "messy". I was a bad man for awhile. No "gf's" (though each and every one thought that they could change that). Some had the backbone to stand up for themselves (knew about all the other girls), but if they weren't "cool" with how I was, who I was, then I was through with them. A lot of times they were gone long before it came to that. The smallest thing could irritate me and I was done with that "toy".
All that changed, I changed, when my brother called one night and asked me if I was busy. He was taking out a girl from high school... and she had a friend that she was bringing along.
Though I didn't meet anyone new after her, I still had my bachelor mentality, I treated her like the rest, like I didn't care. I did this, despite the fact that I felt she was "different". There was something about her, I really enjoyed my time with her, and we could talk on the phone for hours. I hadn't done that since high school.
Things got kinda complicated.
It was then that "high school" came back. I had only known this new girl a month. We were hanging at my house when my phone rang. It was my hs ex (the one I was with for a coupe years). She wanted to see me. Years earlier, when I had dumped her for the gym girl, who was kicked to the curb a couple months later, I felt guilty after. I felt like I'd made a mistake. A few weeks after dumping the gym girl (and had hooked up with quite a few "randoms"), I went to talk to her. She told me that I had broken her heart, that she had cried for those 3 months, and that she would never forgive me. After that, I didn't feel like I had closure, so when she called I was somewhat eager to see her. I did later that night.
It surprised me how forward she was. I expected small talk. Instead, she told me that she wanted to be with me, that she wanted us to spend the rest of our lives together. Mind you, we'd been apart for a few years, both very different people, and after seeing her I knew that old "spark" wasn't there. I still "loved" her, but not in the way I had before.
I knew her to be a smart, fun, motivated, strong young woman, but she had "lost her way". I felt obligated to help lift her back up. Telling her how I really felt would make that impossible. I spent most of my time with her, but still went out with the new girl occasionally. I forget exactly how long I let this go on, maybe 6 months, but one day I told her the truth. I told her everything, about how I felt, about the other girl. She broke down, when I tried to leave she told me that I was the only person that could make her happy. She said that if she didn't have me that she would kill herself. Part of me believed that she could do it, another part of me thought that if she felt this strongly about me that maybe I was the one in the wrong. Maybe I was so used to being "how I was" that I wasn't giving her a chance. I already felt obligated to care for her and help her, so...
We were married soon after. I was miserable. One week before the wedding I had gone out with the "new girl" to say "goodbye" (though I didn't tell her I wouldn't be calling her again). It had been 5 weeks, I wanted to call her, I wanted to see her, and I wanted to let my "wife" down easy. It didn't happen that way, but it wasn't "ugly" either. One night, close to 10pm, she did something that "irritated" me. It was the same feeling that had brought the downfall of many girls in the past. That brought me right back to where I'd been before, cruel, cold. I grabbed some clothes and walked out.
Filed for an annulment, quite my job, sold my house, and went to go "reset" at my parents house. I spent the next 2 months as a hermit. I was getting my car serviced at the dealer, gave my number to a cute receptionist. She called, but my brother picked up my phone. He went off on her and told her to leave me alone. He thought it was one of the crazy girls that wouldn't "let me go" (I had a few stalkers). I called back, but she thought I was the one who had gone off on her (my brothers and I sound exactly alike). She said that I must have been trying to cover up (because she thought I had another girl with me).
Anyhow, I hadn't talked to the "new girl" for over 3 months now. For the most part, I don't feel "healthy" enough, but I was also afraid that I might have messed it up, and definitely would if I explained it to her. I found the courage, called her. She was very eager to see me. We had a great night, but before we parted ways she told me something, something I'd heard a million times. She told me that she loved me, but didn't like how I was treating her. She said she wasn't going to allow me to keep hurting her and that if I couldn't change that she wouldn't speak to me anymore. Many girls had said that, they were either bluffing, or it was over. It had never mattered, but when she said those words to me my heart fell right out of my chest. It was a fear and a pain that I never wanted to experience again. I knew right then and there what she meant to me. I have spent every day since showing her how much I love her. That was 13 years ago. We have two beautiful boys, planning on a 3'rd.
Sorry about the novel, but this thread is about our "relationships", and though I mentioned many, it was really all about my wife. If not for everything else, I don't believe I would have the same appreciation for her and what we have together. She is the love of my life and my best friend.
Let him go!

