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You're very strange for feeling the necessity to tell people about how a 5 year old nearly caught you masturbating. I think you may need councilling.

I cut my facial hair off with a bread knife. no pain, no gain.

<!--the person above me is a smurftard is happy, hoshiite i post out of sync. Edit: What the smurf? You have a word filter than blocks the F word? For f u c k sake-->

Yes, we have a swear...

all elmo wanted to do was make people happy

you find a picture of a red furry puppet weirder than someone cutting themselves because they're sad?

his voice is everywhere now, it's on adverts, tv programs, the lot.