There is just no way that Simmons can lose. It's impossible.
Sephiroth would Destroy Simons with his mighty, yet highly overrated sword!
Sephiroths meteor would come crashing down to destory simons, as simons weak arms can't hurt sephy
Simons super powered dance moves will smash sephiroths weak and brittle bones
Simons weight loss tactics will turn sephy into a meatless skeleton making him easy pray for Simons
The two would clash in a battle royal destroying both them and the very cosmo's themselves
They shall fight and after a brave battle they shall fall dead at eachothers feat
After a lame duel of sissies Sephs rabid fans will turn on him and kill him for dissapointing them
After a very pathetic fight of sissies, sephs fan base kills Simmons for destroying their hero
They decide to stop fighting and make sweet passionate love instead
The fight raged on for eternity, eventually ending up in Vallhala, were thye still fight to this day
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