That made no logical sense at all.Originally Posted by Omni Legacy
That made no logical sense at all.
lets get offensive.
<!--Knock Knock
"Who's There"
Little Boy Blue
"Little boy blew who?"
(SPOILER)Micheal jackson...-->[leeza]*snip*
No, let's not. ~ Leeza[/leeza]
John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender glances up at him and says, "Hey, why the long face?"
no political crap, seriously, I'm sick of it
THE JACKEL
add me, PSN: ljkkjlcm9
How do you get an elephant into a fridge?
Open the fridge and put it in.
How do you get a zebra into a fridge?
Take out the elephant and put the zebra in.
As a doctor completed an examination of a patient, he said "I can't find the cause of your illness. frankly, I think it's due to drinking." "In that case," says the patient, "I'll come back when you're sober."
I get it!
This is a signature.
Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up.
But then the wife stops and says, "I don' t feel like it. I just want you to hold me."
The husband says " WHAT???" The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman.
The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.
So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept. store. He walks around and had her try on three very expensive outfits. And then tells his wife, We 'll take all three of them. Then goes over and gets matching shoes worth $200 each.
And then goes to the jewelry Dept. and gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited (she thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care). She goes for the tennis bracelet.
The husband says "but you don 't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then lets get it.'
The wife is jumping up and down. So excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says " I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register. "
The husband says, " no no no, honey we're not going to buy all this stuff." The wife face goes blank.
" No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
Her face gets really red she is about to explode and then the husband says " You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a MAN!"
Never Ending Pain....
An old chestnut.
Sherlock Holmes and Watson are lying on the grass, gazing into the stars above.
Holmes: So, Watson, what can you deduce from gazing up into the stars tonight?
Watson: I deduce that there are millions of stars and planets in the sky, in this vast universe. And on them could live other lifeforms, living millions of miles away, gazing back in our direction. We are merely insignificant beings compared to the vastness of the universe. Why, what do you deduce?
Holmes: What I deduce is quite simple. Someone has stolen our tent.
A guy is sitting in a bar and he sees a beautiful lady at the other end of the bar. He calls over the bartender and says he'll pay for the woman's next drink. The bartender nods and tells the woman this. They talk for a moment, and then the bartender comes back to the man.
"She says she's lesbian," the bartender tells the man.
"Ah, that's okay. Get her the drink anyway," the man says. The bartender does so, and when the woman gets the drink, the man approaches her.
She looks up when he stands next to her, and he says, "So, I hear you're from Lesbia."
I get this one all the time, especially by ODP's
'What's a midwife's best form of contraception...
...her face!'
:kaoyatta:
lol thats good...I got one from Bunny...its
a blond walks into a building...
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