"Ultimate magics"...

[Vivisteiner]

FLIP
MP: 10.

Exchanges strength stat with magic stat. And the average of the speed and evade stats with the defence stat.

MOCKERY
MP: 15
Rearranges the body parts of all enemys into comical shapes, increasing luck for the party, and decreasing it for the enemy.

TOILET
MP: 100
The enemy is forced to leave for some time (3 - 15 mins).
Not effective against all enemies.

REINCARNATION
MP: 500
A dead party member is raised from the dead, and turned into a demi-God with max stats and the ability to peform every single move listed so far.

[boys from the dwarf]

Monty python gamble.

MP cost: 100MP.

one of ten scenes similar to monty python and the holy grail or life of brian happens and can have these outcomes.

Alien Abduction: next time your party is about to be wiped out, an alien spaceship with completely unconvincing aliens on will save you and take you on a low budget space trip with lasers and drop you off in front of the enemy. if the enemy is capable of speech he will say "you lucky bastards!" and will be inflicted with the "pissed of" and "WTF" status effect.

The brian side of life: everything on the field will be crucified and sing "always look on the bright side of life" its strange and results in a game over but it'll make you feel warm and fuzzy inside

Whats the point?!: 12 men with swords come up to the enemies and commit suicide at them. inflicts confuse to all enemies and has a 50% chance to confuse your characters.

Hes a very naughty boy!: Brians mother will drag an enemy out of the battle and It will return with the "humiliated" status effect. The other enemies will be too embarrassed to hang around with the "humiliated" enemy and will leave him at your mercy.

My name is...Tim?: Tim the enchanter will either put on a ridiculous display of power that sets everything on fire and reduces everything HP by 9998 or will bore the enemies to death by telling them his many names. "some call me. small bunny with a hat although im not sure why. i also go by the name... valgomor... but many call me gerald the err smick." WTH?

Rabbit: anyone who the rabbit sees is attacked visciously and will bleed with even more blood than it actually has. it wont attack your party if you have a holy hand grenade.

Morphify: If there are 3 enemies on the field, they will merge into a three headed creature that cant agree with its other heads. you instantly win the battle.

Nee!: if the enemies aren't eath elementals or dont have any shrubberys. they instantly fall to the ground screaming in mental pain.

if the enemies has a shrubbery the knights of Nee will change their annoying word to something else and will turn on you, and wont shut up until you give them a shrubbery. if you dont have a shrubbery the battle will end and you will have to restart as every time you try to do anything. countless "Nees!" will fill the screen and you will have to press X 100 times to get rid of them all. everytime you take a step. another 100 nee's appear.

Biggus Dikkus: all of your characters names are permanently changed to Biggus Dikkus and the game is saved after this spell so you cant change it back. everyone you talk to and all the enemies you fight will go into giggling fits and you wont be able to progress as no one will take you seriously.

The "Awesome" ending: The game ends and everyone is arrested for carrying dagerous weaponry and all the other thing that would be against the law. and the backgrounds of the scenes turn into cardboard and fall over comically.

[Black Magic Shopkeeper]

Dude-go-boom
Cost: 0 MP, all HP
Caster runs to the center of the battle field, commits Harikiri, and explodes...Taking your enemies with you. Works even on bosses AND Final Bosses!

Coming soon to a Black Mage Coffee Joint near you! ;D