DK
Main: Sarcasm Ray: Confuses enemy, crushes the confidence of losers on the internet

Super effective against: Joel

Special: Feigned pedophilia: Stuns the enemy, with a slight recoil that will damage DK

Super effective against: Younger pokemon

Traffic
Main: Rocket Edge: Calls upon the power of his old username to land massive physical damage through rhymes, chance of confusing enemy

Super effective against: Everything

Special: Artist's Wrath: Enters a state of rage and draws all over the opponent with pencil.

Super effective against: Crappy artists