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Thread: All the Final Fantasy Villains...Sit Down and Talk

  1. #16
    Lives in a zoo Recognized Member Renmiri's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Griff View Post
    Seymour would just have to ask Kuja where he buys his thongs, as they are soo fashionable.
    Hihi!

    Iye, I can just picture that

    Seymour (very gay): You just HAVE to tell me where you get this gor-g-e-o-ous things Kuja!
    Me and my kids have dragon eggs:



  2. #17
    Ciddieless since 2004
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    I can just imagine the tension in the air when the two Garlands come in, walk to the dining table, and realise that there's only room for one of them...
    Money, power, sex... and elephants.
    -- Capt. Simon Illyan, ImpSec

  3. #18
    Memento Mori Site Contributor Wolf Kanno's Avatar
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    Kefka: Calm down you Mama's boy. What's your story anyway?
    Quote Originally Posted by Forsaken Lover View Post
    Sephiroth: I was to use Meteor to be a god and so I brought the Black Materia to myself at Northern Crater, summoned it and then made a big barrier around it while I prevented the Planet from stopping Meteor. And...

    Kefka: Yada-yada-yada. So you wanted to be a god? I was one. I had a giant tower made out of random crap and enjoyed leisurely vaporizing towns. You had a big hole in the ground and a big rock...and both of it did crap.
    Sephiroth: Shut up you damn clown! At least I was so popular I showed up in like six other games besides my own. And you're supposedly a better and more memorable villian? Hah!

    Kefka: That's just because fangirls (and some fanboys) want to watch you and Cloud do it...

    Sephiroth: Do what?

    Everyone shuts up and looks at Sephiroth like the idiot he really is.

    Kefka: Good lord... Kuja, you seem to be well aquainted with this area, you explain it to him...

    Kuja gives him a dirty look.

    Kuja whispers into Sephiroth's ear. Sephiroth turns pale and has a look of utter shock...

    Sephiroth: But... no... I want Cloud dead... not like... oh wow... Now when I think about everything I used to say in that context... GOOD LORD! I HAD LANCE BASS DO MY VOICE IN KINGDOM HEARTS!!!

    Ultemacia hands him, her laptot. She takes him to a popular yaoi fanfiction site.

    Sephiroth: This isn't right... There's like 100 pages of titles...

    To be Continued...

  4. #19

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    I read a fanfic like this on another forum. In the end, [SPOILERS]Omega comes in and kills everyone.[/SPOILERS]

  5. #20
    'Gabby Hayes' big Bart's Friend Milhouse's Avatar
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    Kuja would be the laughing stock
    ...Geddit?

  6. #21
    Yes, I'm a FF III fan. Elpizo's Avatar
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    Xande and Golbez would discuss which of the two was the best controlled villain.

    Golbez: Well, sorry my dear Xande, but it's clear that I'm the better guy here. I was comander of an airship fleet, manipulated people, turned a friend against his best friend, had 4 Elemental Lords at my command and I did a bunch of random stuff. You unfortunatly, only showed up one time in the game and you were immediatly killed.

    Xande: Maybe, but at least I caused a character to die.

    Golbez: So did I!

    Xande: No you didn't, you got your armoured behind handed to you because that old fool used Meteor on you and killed himself, it was not your doing.

    Golbez: Neither was (SPOILER)Aria's death your doing!

    Xande: But Kraken was my assasin!

    Golbez: I have evil monsters as an army at my disposal!

    Xande: I have a huge Crystal Tower that costed Square Enix a fortune!

    Golbez: I was controlled by a being made of pure hate!

    Xande: Mine was the Void! Your master copied my master's plans!

    Golbez: My master could at least use more than one attack!

    Xande: My master was remade in 3D with more attacks and had 4 bosses that needed to be defeated before she herself could even be harmed!

    Golbez: Still, I had more screentime! You were an unknown villain until Square Enix decided to 3D your face in that remake of the game you are in! For 16 years only 1 country knew of your existence! I AM BETTER!

    Xande: But you turned into a GOOD GUY in the end!

    *Everybody looks at Golbez*

    Golbez: ... ... ... Crap ... ... ...

    But really, Garland (FF I) would come in and knock them all down.

  7. #22
    Definitely not over 9000. No.78's Avatar
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    I can imagine them all at the table, like, really awkardly lol! But yeah, it would unfold into this massive battle of egos lol.
    ...But who would come out on top?

    Kuja would flirt with Sephiroth
    jkhkjg

  8. #23
    GoDLikE Timster's Avatar
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    Immediately as they sit down everybody begins arguing:fencing: ... when all of a sudden...

    Sephiroth*without anyone to argue with*: HEYHEYHEEEEEEEY! EVERYBODY JUST CALM DOWN FOR ONE SECOND!

    *Complete silence, except for Kefka laughing in his normal hysterical way..., and everyone stares confused at Sephiroth...*

    Sephiroth: Ahem... I was just thinking...

    Seymour *interrups*: HA! Well that's something new...

    *Sephiroth glares evilly at Seymour while everyone else is laughing*

    Sephiroth *when everyone except for Kefka has stopped laughing*:Anyway!.... what I was saying before I got interrupted, was that I thought it was really stupid that we were here arguing with eachother when we should be plotting against the good guys...

    Kuja: was this all you had to say? Because honestly unless you have something else to say, I think we should all continue fighting... but maybe we should kill you first to stop anyone from interrupting us later...

    *Kefka laughs more and more*

    Sephiroth: ... As a matter of fact... I had one more thing to say... When planning on destroying the good guys, remember that we're like a whole bunch now instead of one or two like the first time when we all got sc***ed. This time we CAN'T lose... and that's all I have to say...

    *Everybody suddenly becomes very interested and serious except for Kefka who's laughing even more*

    Sephiroth*speaking louder and louder until finally screaming because Kefka is laughing so loudly*: Finally...*Kefka laughs louder* now what I was thinking was that we take out the twats that defeated us, one at the time, maybe ambushing them or something like that, maybe poison them but we'll discuss that later... *Kefka laughs louder*and...*Kefka laughs louder*AND...*Kefka laughs louder*... WON*T YOU EVER STOP LAUGHING YOU CLOWN!!!!!

    *Everbody else agrees since he became quite annoying*

    Kefka*still laughing*: MWAHAHAHA... NO!:evilking:...HAHAHAHAHAH...

    *Ultimicia, pissed off, magically creates an apple and levitates it to Kefkas mouth making him unable to laugh*

    *Kefka, completely shocked and with the apple still in his mouth, sits down with his eyes wide open wondering how anyone dared to do something like that to HIM!*

    Ultimicia: At last! That klown was really pissing me off!

    *Kefka still in complete shock*

    Sephiroth:... Well back to business... So who's good guy should we take care of first?

    *everone at the same time*: MY!

    *complete silence and everyone is staring suspiciously at eachother*

    *Kefka, amused by the picture, takes out the apple and continues to laugh as loudly as before...

    To be continued................
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  9. #24
    Lives in a zoo Recognized Member Renmiri's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf Kanno View Post
    Kuja whispers into Sephiroth's ear. Sephiroth turns pale and has a look of utter shock...

    Sephiroth: But... no... I want Cloud dead... not like... oh wow... Now when I think about everything I used to say in that context... GOOD LORD! I HAD LANCE BASS DO MY VOICE IN KINGDOM HEARTS!!!

    Ultemacia hands him, her laptot. She takes him to a popular yaoi fanfiction site.

    Sephiroth: This isn't right... There's like 100 pages of titles...

    To be Continued...


    You should write comic fanfic!

    Quote Originally Posted by No.78 View Post
    I can imagine them all at the table, like, really awkardly lol! But yeah, it would unfold into this massive battle of egos lol.
    ...But who would come out on top?
    Seymour: Me! Me! Me! I wanna be the cherry on top!

    Seymour is the gayest with his dress robes
    Me and my kids have dragon eggs:



  10. #25
    Gold is the new black Goldenboko's Avatar
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    If Leeza was there it would go like this...

    Quote Originally Posted by Goldenboco's EoFF Playin' View Post
    Episode 2:
    The Villians' Corner

    Kefka: Whahahahahahaha!
    Sephiroth: Don't you ever get bored of doing that?
    Kefka: No. Whahahahahahaha!
    Sephiroth: Sigh, the Villians' Table sucks. I think I'm going to go cut my self now.
    Seymour: Why isn't Ultimecia here?
    Zemus: Noone likes her!
    Seymour: Good point.
    Garland: What is this? A cat is at the Villians' table?
    Leeza: Thats Admin to you! Say something bad about me again and close your threads!
    Vayne: Oooooh, I'm so scared.
    Leeza: You better be you stupid Laguna look-a-like. What do you have some kind of crush on him?
    Vayne: Maybe
    Leeza: You're right the Villians' table does suck. I'm going over to the admin and Mods table.
    *Leeza leaves*
    Kefka: Whahahahahahaha!
    Kuja: Shut up!
    Kefka: At least I don't wear a thong! Whahahahahahaha!
    Kuja: No your just a clown!
    *Kuja and Kefka get into a slap fight*
    Shuyin: Uh, guys we have a little problem, Sephiroth cut himself too much...

    and now he's dead.

    To be continued...

  11. #26
    GoDLikE Timster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goldenboco View Post
    If Leeza was there it would go like this...

    Quote Originally Posted by Goldenboco's EoFF Playin' View Post
    Episode 2:
    The Villians' Corner

    Kefka: Whahahahahahaha!
    Sephiroth: Don't you ever get bored of doing that?
    Kefka: No. Whahahahahahaha!
    Sephiroth: Sigh, the Villians' Table sucks. I think I'm going to go cut my self now.
    Seymour: Why isn't Ultimecia here?
    Zemus: Noone likes her!
    Seymour: Good point.
    Garland: What is this? A cat is at the Villians' table?
    Leeza: Thats Admin to you! Say something bad about me again and close your threads!
    Vayne: Oooooh, I'm so scared.
    Leeza: You better be you stupid Laguna look-a-like. What do you have some kind of crush on him?
    Vayne: Maybe
    Leeza: You're right the Villians' table does suck. I'm going over to the admin and Mods table.
    *Leeza leaves*
    Kefka: Whahahahahahaha!
    Kuja: Shut up!
    Kefka: At least I don't wear a thong! Whahahahahahaha!
    Kuja: No your just a clown!
    *Kuja and Kefka get into a slap fight*
    Shuyin: Uh, guys we have a little problem, Sephiroth cut himself too much...

    and now he's dead.

    To be continued...
    hahahaahha hilarious
    =====>Check out my sigs!<=====

  12. #27
    Shadow Master Griff's Avatar
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    Rufus: *looks up* So, why do you think no one has talked to us yet? And how did you fit in the building anyways?
    Sin: *with Jecht's voice* Shut up! *proceeds to kill Rufus via sitting on him*

    Which FF Character Are You?


    (SPOILER) This Signature STILL contains spoilers

  13. #28
    Memento Mori Site Contributor Wolf Kanno's Avatar
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    Rufus: So you're a talking tree?

    X-Death: Yes, I see you were easdropping on my conversation...

    Rufus: I'm a buisnessman, it's what we do. Anyway, I was just wondering... You know how mother nature feels right? Can you tell me where the Promised Land is?

    X-Death: Have you ever talked to a tree before? Gawd they never shut up. And all they do is bitch and complain.

    Rufus: Really?

    X-Death: Oh, yeah, house plants mostly just talk about how stupid you humans are.

    Rufus: (Whispering) Scarlett, I have a new campaign slogan for ShinRa. ShinRa: Getting back at the planet cause your house palnts are talking behind your back.

    Sephiroth(speaking from the back ground): Cloud and Sephiroth's Excellent Erotic Adventure? It has pictures?

    Garland(FFI): So you're name is Garland as well?

    Garland(FF9): Yes, I am the guardian of the people of Terra.

    Garland(FFI): I'm a Knight in the service of a retarded king. I tried to date his daughter and he sent these four assholes to rough me up. Instead they killed me and my soul was sent into the future to become him. (points to Chaos, Chaos waves to them)

    Garland(FF9): Ouch, that's a nasty makeover... Me, my problem comes from my family. I have two sons. They're not really my sons, I created them. The first one got amnesia and joined some actor's guild. I never thought he was right to begin with but hey, he's still better than my second child...

    Garland(FFI): Who's he?

    Garland(FF9) points to Kuja.

    Garland(FFI): Good lord... Here, let me buy you a drink.... I mean damn...

    Vayne: So... are you two related somehow?

    Shuyin: Well yes, sorta've...

    Seymore: NO!

    Shuyin: We're villains from the same game.

    Seymore: No, I was the villain from that game. You're the loser villain from the ty sequel no one likes. You don't even have a really good backstory...

    Shuyin: Yes I do, I wanted revenge against the people who killed my beloved!

    Seymore: If she really loved you, she would have come back as a zombie like us. Face it, she burned you.

    Shuyin: That...(sniff) not true... WAAAAAAGHHHHHH!!!!

    Seymore: Now me, I'm a real villain. I came back from the dead to build my ideal Spira. BY KILLING EVERYONE!!!! I started with those detested Ronso cause, well I have allergies and...

    Golbez: No one gave a damn about you. Sin was the real villain in that game. The writer's threw your worthless butt into the story cause they needed someone who can talk.

    Seymore: How dare you...

    Golbez: Furthermore, you got killed like what? Four times. I mean damn. Being undead is all you have going for you. You barely did any real damage compared to the rest of us. Face it, you're the flunky in your game, Sin and Yu Yevon are the real villains. I mean, you could be ommitted from the story and it wouldn't really make a difference.

    Seymore:.... WAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!! Kuja, hold me!!!

    Kuja: DAMMIT, I'M NOT GAY!!!! How many times do I have to say it?

    Everyone looks at Kuja like he was speaking in tongues. They eye his clothing...

    Kuja: This is called a fashion statement! Just cause I wear women's lingerie does not mean I'm gay. Besides, have you ever wore women's underware? It's so silky and soft and it conforms to every part of my body...

    The sound of Garland(FF9) weeping loudly from the back can be heard...

    Sephiroth: How did this happen? I was the total badass. The villian that inspired a generation of badass villians...

    Ultemacia: Hear, let me show you my collection of Cloud/Vincent/Kudaj/ and Sephiroth yaoi fanfiction. Some of it was so explicit, most websites won't even show it in it's entirety. I even have pictures.

    Sephiroth: What has happened to me...

    To Be Continued...

  14. #29
    Born to be mild Dr. Acula's Avatar
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    Goblez: So, you're an evil clown, huh? So... how's that working out for you?

    Kefka: It pays the bills.
    Last edited by Dr. Acula; 01-31-2007 at 09:35 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Christmas View Post
    Quin is wrong and LALA is right.

  15. #30
    Lives in a zoo Recognized Member Renmiri's Avatar
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    Seymour: Killed those Ronso because I have allergies... Besides, they shed on the furniture. Do you know how much it cost me to reupholster my couch after Kimahri sat on it ?
    Me and my kids have dragon eggs:



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