Xande and Golbez would discuss which of the two was the best controlled villain.

Golbez: Well, sorry my dear Xande, but it's clear that I'm the better guy here. I was comander of an airship fleet, manipulated people, turned a friend against his best friend, had 4 Elemental Lords at my command and I did a bunch of random stuff. You unfortunatly, only showed up one time in the game and you were immediatly killed.

Xande: Maybe, but at least I caused a character to die.

Golbez: So did I!

Xande: No you didn't, you got your armoured behind handed to you because that old fool used Meteor on you and killed himself, it was not your doing.

Golbez: Neither was (SPOILER)Aria's death your doing!

Xande: But Kraken was my assasin!

Golbez: I have evil monsters as an army at my disposal!

Xande: I have a huge Crystal Tower that costed Square Enix a fortune!

Golbez: I was controlled by a being made of pure hate!

Xande: Mine was the Void! Your master copied my master's plans!

Golbez: My master could at least use more than one attack!

Xande: My master was remade in 3D with more attacks and had 4 bosses that needed to be defeated before she herself could even be harmed!

Golbez: Still, I had more screentime! You were an unknown villain until Square Enix decided to 3D your face in that remake of the game you are in! For 16 years only 1 country knew of your existence! I AM BETTER!

Xande: But you turned into a GOOD GUY in the end!

*Everybody looks at Golbez*

Golbez: ... ... ... Crap ... ... ...

But really, Garland (FF I) would come in and knock them all down.