All the Final Fantasy Villains...Sit Down and Talk
Let's say that in a special dining hall, every villain in FF history is attending and talking. (if they can talk) Just speculate on who would talk to who and what would be said. Who'd get along, who wouldn't get along...they're all just shooting the bull and you can imagine and reply with anything that you think they'd say to one another.
I realize Ultros will be running the show...but what else?
They would all end up dead because the heroes would turn up just as the villians were starting their babies and chocobo salad. The heroes would kill all the villians and then eat the babies and chocobo salad themselves
Ultros is that Octopus isn't he? He'd be dinner.
Seymour: "This octopus is delicious Sephiroth, you must give the recipe to Trommel, my houseward! Is this your Mother's recipe ?"
Me and my kids have dragon eggs:
This is just lunacy. Ultros would kick Seymour's ass.
Seymour keeps coming back, just like the Energizer Bunny
Me and my kids have dragon eggs:
Sephiroth and Kefka would sit down and have a nice civilized chat about which one of them would win.
Kefka is more likely to laugh at Sephiroth.
Sephiroth: I was to use Meteor to be a god and so I brought the Black Materia to myself at Northern Crater, summoned it and then made a big barrier around it while I prevented the Planet from stopping Meteor. And...
Kefka: Yada-yada-yada. So you wanted to be a god? I was one. I had a giant tower made out of random crap and enjoyed leisurely vaporizing towns. You had a big hole in the ground and a big rock...and both of it did crap.
Kefka would kill Sephiroth while laughing. And the true FF fans rejoice.
Actually Kefka would most likely not speak to Sephiroth. I don't think any of them would speak. Maybe they'd just try and kill each other.
Seymour would just have to ask Kuja where he buys his thongs, as they are soo fashionable.
Kefka would poison all their drinks while no one was looking.
I see a lot of drama in this situation. Who is the best, who had the greatest motivations...Villains have egos, you know? They'd all make fun of Ultimecia for getting two seconds of screentime and she'd get all offended and leave, Kuja would get made fun of for his outfit, Seymour for his hair, Kefka for his whole clown thing, and...Wow, it'd be horrible. I can't bear to think of it any longer.
Basically, it would be exactly the same as fan conversations.
It would start off with everyone getting their salads and soups. Everyone is just eating and staring at each other, waiting for the opportune time to strike.
Kefka starts to imagine what it would be like to feel Seymore's insides and begins to laugh maniacally.
Zeromus: Shut the @#$% up you stupdi clown!!! I HATE YOU! I HATE EVERYTHING!!!!
X-Death: Calm down! You know what yelling does to your blood pressure...
Emperor Palamecian: This is quite ridiculous. We should be a bit more civilized about this. I mean it's not like we all are very different. We should put aside our differences for one moment and just enjoy the evening.
Everone calms down and begins to relax...
Seymore: Finally, another gentlemen! I don't feel like I'm conversing with mere barabrians anymore.
Kuja: Sephiroth, you haven't even touched your salad. Is something wrong?
Sephiroth: Mother doesn't like it when I eat unfamiliar food...
Kuja: Um... ok... what would you really like to eat?
Sephiroth: Lifestream.
Garland(FF9): I can't have you do that!!! Those are the souls of my people I'm supposed to be safeguarding!
Zeromus: You mean the same bastdards who sealed me up when I was still a Lunarian!!!
Garland and Kuja: No!!!
Ultemecia: I just wanted to kompress time into one moment so I would be all powerful.
Garland(FFI): Wouldn't that just had made your life last like an instant. You would become a sorta've god and then died cause existence would have ended. Even if you did live, there really wouldn't be anything to do with your power.
Ultemecia:.... I didn't think about that... but what about you and Chaos? You just created a time loop in order to maintain a false form of immortality and yet still get killed. You would think you would use your influence to kill the heroes before they got too powerful to kill you.
Garland and Chaos look at each other...
Garland and Chaos: Damn we're idiots....
Dark Cloud: So X-Death... what's your story.
X-Death: I'm an evil tree created by humans indescrimanetly sealing evil and forbidden magic into holy trees without ever thinking about the consequences caused by their half assed disposal abilities.
Dark Cloud: A tree hugger huh? Me? I'm an Evil Cloud...
Sephiroth: Cloud!!?? (cue One Winged Angel) I live to make you miserable cause I have nothing better to do!!! Come and facce me now as I destroy everything you love in order to maintain my immortality through your memories!!! (Hey, he's got to do it somehow... Look at Forsaken Lover's post)
To be continued...
Last edited by Wolf Kanno; 01-31-2007 at 09:56 PM. Reason: Had to put someone back into character...
True beauty exists in things that last only for a moment.
Current Mood: And it's been a long December and there's reason to believe. Maybe this year will be better than the last. I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself. To hold on to these moments as they pass...
Originally Posted by Wolf Kanno
Best post here
Yellow Winged Angel
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