To fix the script, several things need to happen:

1. The Squall/Rinoa thing needs to happen gradually. We go from "I hate you" to "I need Rinoa!" in 30 seconds flat. There were scenes which could have used reactions to create tension that didn't. Also, I personally think the story would be more dramatic coming from Rinoa's point-of-view, espeically if her character emphazised her more bad-ass rebel/warrior, family problems side. The Squall/Rinoa/Seifer dynamic would have had more room to grow that way. Plus, it is her journey - Squall just has a teenage revelation along the way.

2. The secondary characters need to have their own plotlines. They had great personalities, but we never got to know them. Also, the whole "we were all knew each other as kids but then forgot" thing is uncecessary. I'd drop it.

3. The villian arc needs to be steamlined. First, I don't think we need to get rid of Edea or Ulty or whatever. But it needs to be clear from the start that Edea is possessed, or at least that there is something off about her. I would have her begin as Cid's wife, but have her doing suspicious things. Gradually she would become more evil. Then, so when you find out she's possessed, it comes less out of left field.

On a similar note, Ulty needs some specific motivation - why go through all the time compression nonesense? Why not just blow up the planet? What exactly is she trying to accomplish?