You're all sick, or maybe you overreact in humour I seriously laughed the hell out of the "Squall + Zell" couple. But coming back to the girls:
That Quistis is wild in the bedroom just because she's quiet and intelligent is a stereotype. The storyline forces her to go beyond such desires. And even if she were to consider something like that, she'd probably look further than a dumbass like Squall. Why is he a dumbass? 'Cuz Rinoa is a regular hottie, check this out:
Top 3 hottest girls in FF: 1.Yuna (X)
2. Tifa (VII)
3. Rinoa (VIII)
You CANNOT ignore a girl like that when she's hitting on you...
As for Selphie...i don't quite understand how can they all have similar ages since Selphie is so damn childish, either way, she wouldn't know what to do in a bedroom (except maybe to sleep ).