"It was pink, really really pink, like a spanked albino."
"If Jesus had been beheaded instead of crucified would christians do the sign of the chop?"
"One fool is amusing, a hundred are annoying, and a million are dangerous."
All mine.
"It was pink, really really pink, like a spanked albino."
"If Jesus had been beheaded instead of crucified would christians do the sign of the chop?"
"One fool is amusing, a hundred are annoying, and a million are dangerous."
All mine.
"I have never failed, I just succeed in finding what doesn't work." Talk about an optimist
It looks like the ground had a sex change.
"You're a cowboy man!"
"Yeah, but I'm not gay!"
"O...ok, you're a straight cowboy!"
"Woo!"
*whilst playing hide and go seek*
"Is that them?"
"Nah, that's just a white rock."
"Like an albino rock?"
"Yeah, lets keep going."
"......ever wonder what albino nipples look like?"
..It was them.
i saw this on some ones sig and its stuck with me ever since....
OH MY GAH!
"This water tastes like shrimp."
All said by me on various occasions:
Someday the future will be in the history books. What will you do to write it?
Just stick the ice cream in your pants and run!
(Spoken with a warble) Awwwkwaaard.
Why are you wearing my pants?
I'd be pessimistic but it'd never work.
Being a pessimist isn't always bad. If I expect an A on a paper and get a B I'm pissed. If I expected a D I'm elated.
Boy am I an unfunny ass.
For Children: You will need to know the difference between Friday and a fried egg. It's quite a simple difference, but an important one. Friday comes at the end of the week, whereas a fried egg comes out of a chicken. Like most things, of course, it isn't quite that simple. The fried egg isn't properly a fried egg until it's been put in a frying pan and fried. This is something you wouldn't do to a Friday, of course, though you might do it on a Friday. You can also fry eggs on a Thursday, if you like, or on a cooker. It's all rather complicated, but it makes a kind of sense if you think about it for a while. ~ Douglas Adams
Life, is like a grapefruit. It's orangey-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have half a one for breakfast.
. . . imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, 'This is an interesting world I find myself in, an interesting hole I find myself in, fits me rather neatly, doesn't it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well, must have been made to have me in it!' This is such a powerful idea that as the sun rises in the sky and the air heats up and as, gradually, the puddle gets smaller and smaller, it's still frantically hanging on to the notion that everything's going to be alright, because this world was meant to have him in it, was built to have him in it; so the moment he disappears catches him rather by surprise. I think this may be something we need to be on the watch out for.
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