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Thread: He said he loved me

  1. #1

    Default He said he loved me

    So, there I am, sitting at some bus station in England when a strange squirly looking yellow chocobo comes up to me. He said that he saw me from a distance and was madly in love with me. He sweeped me onto his back and told me he wanted to take me to see the world. Said he'd give me the stars and the moon. Well, I invited him over for crumpets and tea and he didn't seem interested. He just kept staring at me, smiling at me all happy like and I was swooning. Before the night was over he had me in bed with him and I was experiencing things I'd never experienced before. He told me he loved me and always would and that this was love at first sight for him and so I gave in. Neither of us used protection and it all felt wonderful. We passed out around 2AM, but when I woke up around 10AM, he was no where to be found. All I had were a few yellow feathers laying on my bed and floor. I never spoke to him again and I realized I was played for a fool. I came to find out later that that damn chocobo gave me syphillis, as well as Avian flu.

    This was April Fools last year... So if any suspicious yellow birds approach you, RUN! Also: always use protection, and if it's suprise sex, fight for your life.

  2. #2
    toothpaste kisses Resha's Avatar
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    Thank you for your life tips. I am enlightened.
    This subliminal message could be meant for YOU. But it's probably not. Move along ;D

  3. #3

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    Im sure hes done it to alot of guys, where do you think he got syphilis from.

  4. #4
    This is England
    Papa Waigo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreddz View Post
    where do you think he got syphilis from.
    Germany.

  5. #5

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    I think he also stole my credit card. At the time, I thought he'd come back. I figured he went downstairs to get something out of the vending machine or something. You know, I really believed he loved me. Well, I waited for him to come back for a week, thinking he was out getting me something really nice. I come to find that he had went to Aruba, flying first class. Not only did he give me an STD, he stole my credit card. I was so depressed, that I tried to commit suicide but every attempt just didn't work out and I became more depressed and eventually I was thrown into the asylum.

  6. #6
    Oh go on then Cz's Avatar
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    Chocobo sex always ends in tears. You should have paid more attention in school.
    "The most important and recognize player in the history of the country."

    Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I were as great as Paulo Wanchope.

  7. #7

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    But, how was I supposed to know. I try not to stereotype. If I am told one chocobo is bad, should I assume all of them are bad? That just seems wrong. Surely there is a chocobo somewhere who will be good to me.

  8. #8
    Oh go on then Cz's Avatar
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    Dismiss the very notion, my dear. There is not a single chocobo who is not a liar and a scoundrel. They are beastly by their very nature, and not to be trusted.

    Damn good in bed, though.
    "The most important and recognize player in the history of the country."

    Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I were as great as Paulo Wanchope.

  9. #9

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    Yeah, damn good in bed, but their promiscuity and their lies and decietfulness gave me syphillis and bird flu. Out of love, I never did turn him in though. part of me still thinks he will return.

  10. #10
    Oh go on then Cz's Avatar
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    This is truly a great tragedy of our age. You should sell your story to a tabloid newspaper for $$$.
    "The most important and recognize player in the history of the country."

    Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I were as great as Paulo Wanchope.

  11. #11

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    I tried, but they said since I didn't have any genetic samples of the bird, that the story is probably not true. The world hate me. HATES ME. I can't even kill myself right.

  12. #12
    pinchpinchpinchpinchpinch ScottNUMBERS's Avatar
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    Whatever Jibbles are, I want some.

  13. #13
    Oh go on then Cz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I got the jibbles
    I tried, but they said since I didn't have any genetic samples of the bird, that the story is probably not true. The world hate me. HATES ME. I can't even kill myself right.
    And to top it all, you got the jibbles.
    "The most important and recognize player in the history of the country."

    Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I were as great as Paulo Wanchope.

  14. #14

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    yeah, and that's the worst. Way worse than having the shakes. I can give you the jibbles, but t looks like your avatar already as them, Scott.

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