Are shy/modest guys less respected?

[Cloudane]

Oh, yeah, diagnosis of 'mild' syndromes was another completely separate rant of mine

I guess it varies from person to person... there's no way I could've transformed in just a couple of months whatever the effort, although I did make measurable *progress* in that kind of time.

Yeah, once you're out of school it's far, far easier to shake off shyness because people are a lot more mature and treat you with a lot more respect. (Or rather, they keep their malicious comments to themselves even if they still think them). It's a lot easier to be open and confident when you're not worrying about being picked-on all the time.

[Peter_20]

Heh, I can't really say I was picked on or anything during high school; on the contrary!
My classmates were actually pretty wonderful, they were really mature and understanding, and still childish when they felt like it.
My problem is rather that I don't like the shyness label they seem to have given me.
I acted really differently during high school, and thus their impression of me feels "wrong" - I mean, I acted in a mega-shy way all the time, so they probably assume that I really am this way; but that's wrong.
Until I started high school I was the typical teenage dude with attitude, but I still was nice and sympathetic and everything.
I highly prefer this part of myself.

Nowadays I'm sure I would act more like my true self if I should meet them again sometime.
I'm looking forward to revealing my true self for them; I can imagine the wonderful feeling.

[The Unknown Guru]

I like to think of it as a kind of superpower. If nobody notices you, you might as well take advantage of it.

I'm a good thief and a better eavesdropper, and I like to keep it that way.

[Markus. D]

yus~

I'm shy.

and Yus~

[sockmonkey]

I like to think of it as a kind of superpower. If nobody notices you, you might as well take advantage of it.

I'm a good thief and a better eavesdropper, and I like to keep it that way.

I've noticed that too, being socially invisible is often as good as the real thing. As long as you stay at least three or four feet away and don't look directly at them people will talk about nearly any secret in front of you.

[escobert]

Story of my life, sorta.

Heh, it is indeed fairly annoying when people around you don't care about your speaking aloud.

...and if you object, you're "angry". :rolleyes2

pretty much. It sucks.

[final fantasy is stinky]

Well I'm a shy person and people tell me this too and I just say "yep, I am" haha cuz i know its true..... so yep.... and i think I'm pretty respected.

[Peter_20]

My personal definition of the word "respect" is as follows:

"the ability to avoid hurting others, physically or mentally"

[No.78]

Are shy/modest guys less respected?

Depends on who's doing the respecting and how shallow they are and how long they've known them and what personality the modest guy has.

[Cloudane]

I was going by the following definition of respect in the context of this thread (quoth dictionary.com):

esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability

In other words, I read the title as "are shy guys seen as people with lesser abilities and qualities? Are they seen as worth less than others?"

The answer is yes, because shy/modest people don't tend to show off their worth, excellence (if applicable), abilities or qualities as much as others, so it appears that these things are weaker.

I think that once someone gets to know such a person they will respect them just the same, but it'll take longer to realise because the person is not shouting their worth from the rooftops - so such people are respected less overall throughout their lives than those who are instantly respected the moment someone meets them.

So if the question is "do they get hurt more, physically and mentally than others" - that's probably a yes too. Shy/modest people are less likely to stand up for themselves, and there are plenty of folk who would happily exploit this and walk over them.

[Shiva_]

I'm quiet and shy myself in general. Occasionally, some of my friends will ask me if I'm alright. Because of my shyness and quietness, I wasn't able to take up for myself when I was teased and picked on back in grade school. People have taken advantage of me a lot before due to my shy and soft-spoken personality.

[samboo1]

I always thought that shy individuals had a tendency to be treated pretty respectlessly.
I mean, I've experienced this myself back in the day, when I was really silent and didn't speak much.
Whenever I tried to say something, and I actually spoke pretty loud and clear, someone else would start talking and take no notice of me.
I usually just fell silent and sighed, and waited for the other one to finish.
Sometimes this really got on my nerves, and when someone would interrupt me I would go "ahem, I was talking, wait for your turn", and they would go "ok, ok, are you mad, or something?"

It also seems to me that shy people are treated like crap, as if their acquaintances take for granted that they can act anyway they want, like they could mention something in a rude or indignant way.

If a "shy" person gets angry or irritated, then the person will most likely be considered "weird", "mad" or something; but if a respected person gets angry, then it's completely alright.

Do you recognize this? :rolleyes2

Yeah i can really relate to that, because i am a shy person around general people. Im not quiet in front of my friends or anything, but say if im in a class i dont say much because i dont know many people, so the odd occasion that i do say something or laugh at a joke etc, i am, like you said, considered weird. I hate how it's like this, shy people will never gain confidence because of it.