Are shy/modest guys less respected?

[Peter_20]

I always thought that shy individuals had a tendency to be treated pretty respectlessly.
I mean, I've experienced this myself back in the day, when I was really silent and didn't speak much.
Whenever I tried to say something, and I actually spoke pretty loud and clear, someone else would start talking and take no notice of me.
I usually just fell silent and sighed, and waited for the other one to finish.
Sometimes this really got on my nerves, and when someone would interrupt me I would go "ahem, I was talking, wait for your turn", and they would go "ok, ok, are you mad, or something?"

It also seems to me that shy people are treated like crap, as if their acquaintances take for granted that they can act anyway they want, like they could mention something in a rude or indignant way.

If a "shy" person gets angry or irritated, then the person will most likely be considered "weird", "mad" or something; but if a respected person gets angry, then it's completely alright.

Do you recognize this? :rolleyes2

[Craig]

Story of my life, sorta.

[Peter_20]

Story of my life, sorta.

Heh, it is indeed fairly annoying when people around you don't care about your speaking aloud.

...and if you object, you're "angry". :rolleyes2

[Nominus Experse]

Lack of confidence is often attributed with those that are quite modest or shy. As a lack of confidence and initiative is also commonly seen as a sign of weakness, the label is applied.

I was once rather hesitant, and incredibly quiet. Although I am still quiet, I am heard in other methods as I am confident and take initiative.

You don't have to be loud to be noticed.


But that is only one instance of the world - it may not exactly be true for others.

[Old Manus]

EoFF would be the right place to find such same thinking persons.

[Vermachtnis]

I'm shy in large groups, but in one on one coversations I dominate. I usually don't mind and people usually don't interupt me. *Ahem* I say usually, but it happens. So I say something completely stupid and irrelevent to the conversation to get the attention back on me. This one time the guy that interupted me said something stupid and irrelevent and then somehow the whole group got in and we started talking about Penguins riding cows down the River Styx.

[Peter_20]

Lack of confidence is often attributed with those that are quite modest or shy. As a lack of confidence and initiative is also commonly seen as a sign of weakness, the label is applied.

Do you mean that some people decide that the "weak" person is alright to treat disrespectfully?

I'm just wondering if that's what you meant.

[Timster]

you don't have to be outgoing to be respected... although there is a difference between people who don't say much because they don't have anything to say or don't care and those who want to say something but don't have the courage to do so...

BTW to Peter_20: if someone interrups you... interrupt back and see how they react... then YOU will be the one with "the upperhand" so to say...

and i don't think nominus meant that some people decide that it's okay to treat a shy/weak person disrespectfully... i think he meant that it's the shy people who let people treat them disrespectfully... not that that's okay to do but that's life pal...

[Tavrobel]

You get respected by the people that matter. Everyone else you can throw away.

[Hazzard]

The very same thing happened to me a year and a half ago. I was just settling into my new school, and was quite loud and felt predominant in front of my old friends, but then I decided maybe it was time to move on. So I found new friends, but it was actually like I just hanged with them, and didn't talk too much/not at all. When we all walked home together from school, I only really talked fluently with one of them, and the others used to crack some good jokes.

All I did was laugh, and not get involved. I guess this started to happen more and more, sometimes I even got called a 'Mute', but then something changed on one of the days. I was with the one who I talk well to, and then we went to the canteen and saw one of our other friends. I managed to strike a conversation with him for some reason, and I think it was something of no relevance like eating fish or chicken. This happened a few more times with other people and I started to make them laugh, I grew more confident and didn't have to feel left out or even disrespected when I stayed quite for a moment. Nowadays I can speak to all of them, have good humorous conversations, I've realized that I have a lot in common with a few of them as well.

Generally I would come to the conclusion that life sometimes is easier if you're not timid and fragile all the time. Shy people can have friends and talk to them as well, but it depends what sort of nature and personality the actually friends have, and not always the person. There can also be a distinct line between followers and companions, for instance there are several people who follow my friends around, and stay quiet at all times. They giggle when something funny happens, and that's it.

If someone takes advantage over their docile personality, then they let it be and don't intervene. When they actually talk, it seems weird and you don't really feel to anything they have to say or contribute to the subject. I myself have experienced this, and overcome it. Being shy was awkward for me also, because like a mentioned before, I was a very spirited young child, who enjoyed drama, singing and all things to do with performing arts. What changed me was peer pressure in my first year, but since the end of that year and the beginning of this, I am back to how I used to be, and that feels great!

[Christmas]

I thought there are tons of shy but respected person out there.

[Trance_Kuja]

I don't know where i fit in with it all. In other words i can't decide wether i don't talk much due to shyness or due to have nothing to say? How would one go about observing which is correct.

[Reles]

I don't think being shy makes you invisible when you do try to speak. I am a shy person in large groups, but when I have something to say everyone seems to respect me. I think it mostly has to do with what you're saying rather than how you act. Sometimes there are those people who talk a lot but it seems like nothing important comes out of their mouth.

Especially in my family when I usually sit in the background when my aunts, grandparents, and cousins quarrel. If Alyssa talks that means stfu and listen because they know that I rarely have something to say about their issues, but that I'm also not talking and instead observing from an outer perspective.

[theundeadhero]

People used to interrupt me fairly often because I didn't speak a lot and spoke somewhat quietly when I did. Eventually I got upset at it, so when people started to do it I would yell at them to shut-up because I was talking. They learned to let me talk.

There are other ways shy/modest people are disrespected though.

[Vikeve]

I hate it when people interrupt my stories and wehn they do I normally shout at them but thats depending on my mood half the time I stop to at least listen to what they're talking about and if it is boring I continue talking while they are talking and it somehow works out. Most of the time when I'm quit its becuase I have nothing to say so I let others do the talking.