Nerds in Paradise


1. With the recent loss of the FFClassic section, how does your party plan to ensure the older games forums do not suffer the same fate and fall by the wayside?

BAMF: We're going to go with the big guns and make sure everybody knows just how cool these games are. Clint Eastwood is going to ride into town on his horse handing out copies of FFI to all the pilgrams along with cowboy hats while smoking cigars. James Dean is going to ride into town on his Harley followed by biker babes wearing leather skirts and red lipstick handing out copies of FFII. FFIII? Let me tell you about my friend who likes FFIII. His name is The Terminator. Try and tell him the game isn't awesome. Just think how mothersmurfing cool it's going to be when Bruce Willis comes to haunt your house until you think FFIV is the coolest thing you've ever seen. You think that's bad? Wait until Mr. T vows to pee all over your enemies houses if only you'll claim FFV to be awesome. Who do you think is going to smurf with Mr. T? Samuel L. Jackson is going to storm into houses with a gun and eat all your hawaiian burgers until you vow FFVI is your favorite game. It shouldn't take long. With tactics like these, soon everyone will be loving these games all over again.

Pirate Red Chin Patrol:



The Party: 1. Change the all of the post marks in the FF I forum to nude white mage sprite edits.
2. Change the FF II forum to the 8-Bit Theater forum.
3. Prohibit new users from posting in any forum besides the FF III forum for their first month. Charge them a fee if they don't post at all.
4. Create a permanently stickied Rosa x Rydia erotic fan fiction thread in the FF IV forum, finally revealing to the whole world who Rydia's Secret Lover really is.
5. Change the FF V forum to a "cheese and crackers" forum where we only discuss cheese and/or crackers.
6. Prohibit "Who is the main character" threads in FF VI.
7. Change the title "Nerds in Paradise" to "Cats on Motorcycles."
8. Ban everyone who doesn't post in one of the above-mentioned forums at least once a week.
9. Ban Levian.
10. Allow 100x100 avatars and 1100x400 signatures in all non-Cats on Motorcycles forums.

2. Give us 5 reasons why Mog is such a mothersmurfing pimp.

BAMF: Pimps? Let me tell you what Bad Ass Mother smurfers think about pimps. We don't need them. Babes love badasses. Let me tell you what we don't like about pimps and you'll see what we don't like about the little plushie-bear either.

Dancing. BAMF's don't dance. Take a good look at me and try to guess if I want to Water Rondo or not? Pimps have to be smooth, and to be smooth you have to dance.

Glamour. With a pimp it's all about looking good. Looking good is all about accessories. Rings, jeweled chains, cains, all that shiny crap. Walk up to your nearest BAMF and ask him just how "fly" he thinks your alligator shoes are. They'll probably stick a leather boot in your face and laugh. Those little fairy wings? Not gonna happen, Scooter.

Pimps need bodygaurds. Why? 'Cause badass mother smurfers like us sometimes like to rough them up a bit. They like to hire big muscled goons to try and stop us. HA! Like that ever stopped one of us. We don't need no bodygaurds 'cause we take care of our own. Then we go drink a cheap bear. Just look at plushie-bear's little ogre Umaro.

If there's one thing you can count on with a pimp, it's that he carries protection from all the monstrosities that might want to take them out. Police protection here, a handgun there, maybe even a little moogle charm to let others know he's not the one you wanna mess with. BAMF's aren't afraid of a little jailtime.

Take a good look at what music a pimp likes to listen to. It's full of words that don't make any sense. Fo'sheezy? How about I fo'sheezy all over your spleen , chief. Kupo Kupo? I'm gonna kupo you into next week, plushie-bear.

Pirate Red Chin Patrol:

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The Party:
1) Pimp slaps Terra like a pro.
2) Umaro is completely under Mog's control...bitch, anyone?
3) Slam Dancin'!
4) Often seen cruising the streets of Narshe in a lowrider Magitek.
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3. What the Hell WAS Leon doing? http://forums.eyesonff.com/showthread.php?t=97401 Provide us with your best Conspiracy Theory.

BAMF: We all know Lionheart, the Dark Knight, is a rebel at heart. Let's face it, he's one of us, a BAMF. Let's look at exactly why he turned out this way. As a kid him and Maria were growing up brother and sister. Then one day his parents adopt this other boy. Why? Was he not a good enough son? Did his parents not like him? The seeds of anger begin to grow. Then in time Maria and Frionel start to grow feelings for each other. What's with that? This little orphan boy is stealing his sister from him. Anger grows stronger and jealousy seeps into his soul. Feeling abandoned by everyone and estranged to the place he grows up he secretly joins the Emperial Army and rises to the rank of Knight in the Emperors service. The Emperor allows him to spend time at home to help plan the destruction of Phin. Then the time comes for the Empire to take the land in it's dreaded sweep of power. Now the Dark Knight, he pretends to lead Frionel and Maria to safety along with their friend Guy. Really he leads them to a trap. Assuming their death, he leaves them to begin work on his Emperor's ship, the Dreadnaught. As it turns out, they aren't dead at all. They were revived by the Princess of Altea along with her Wizard friend Mihn. The Dark Knight doesn't realize they're still alive and have joined with the rebel forces until they come to stop the construction of the very ship he's in charge of supervising. Instead of stopping them there, he leaves to see how capable they are. Maybe if they can take the ship they can be strong enough to kill the emperor himself, leaving the throne free for him to assume power? This plan meets with great success! These new rebels kill the emperor and the Dark Knight takes control. All is well until they come for him. Then unforseen events transpire! The Emperor returns from the dead. With little choice, our Dark Knight plots to appeal to these rebels hearts so they take him in. All in time, he thinks. All in time they may take this undead Emperor down again, and I will help them, because once that's done I will take control again. It's only a matter of time.

Pirate Red Chin Patrol:



The Party: Leon was actually part of an underground resistance that was against the Exterminators. The Exterminators only goal in life is to unconfused all gender confused humans or GCH. Ron, the leader of the underground resistance, had to always live in fear of being found by the Exterminators since he was important for GCH. After a harsh battle with the Exterminators, Leon and his group, Vaan and Tidus, came across a shut down Exterminator and took it back to their hideout and after some tinkering around, got important data from it. They discovered that the Exterminators were planning on sending a new grade Exterminator to the year 1999 to find and kill Ron so the future would always be GCH free.

After Leon rewired the Exterminator, they sent it back to 1999 to stop the new grade Exterminator from killing young Ron. While young Ron and young Leon were playing let’s steal money from a cash station, they came across the new Exterminator and ran like hell after it started singing karaoke tunes. Then, the Exterminator old Ron sent back came like a light breeze blowing a feather around. It snuck up on the new grade Exterminator and shot it with a rubber band, destroying it. Unfortunately, while Ron was running from the karaoke machine he was run down by a moped however, Leon survived and then decided to rejoin the party.