Psychotic's Guide to winning the Best Spammer Ciddie

[Lawr]

-and Yamaneko. I think.

[Ouch!]

Oh Psy, you soc.

:meatwad:

I'm disappointed. I expected so much more.

[Psychotic]

Oh Psy, you soc.

:meatwad:

I'm disappointed. I expected so much more.

Meatwad is grade-A material. Maybe you just don't get it.

[Agent Proto]

lol, what is this thread about again?

[Yamaneko]

This thread is so predictable.

[Ouch!]

Oh Psy, you soc.

:meatwad:

I'm disappointed. I expected so much more.

Meatwad is grade-A material. Maybe you just don't get it.

Meatwad, like the rest of the Aqua Team Hunger Force, is annoying beyond all belief.

[Del Murder]

I didn't even know what that thing belonged to before today.

[Ouch!]

You were probably better off that way.

[Firo Volondé]

Oh Psy, you soc.

:meatwad:

I'm disappointed. I expected so much more.

Meatwad is grade-A material. Maybe you just don't get it.

Lol what?

There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to spamming.
The knack lies in learning how to try to make sense and miss.
Pick a nice forum, it suggests, and try it.
The first part is easy.
All it requires is simply the ability to make a long detailed post, and willingness not to mind that it's going to make sense.
That is, you're going to look stupid if you fail to not make sense.
Most people fail to not make sense, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to make sense fairly intelligently.
Clearly, it is this second part, the not making sense, which presents the difficulties.
One problem is that you have to not make sense accidentally. It's no good deliberately intending to not make sense because you won't. You have to have your point suddenly randomized by something else when you're halfway through the post, so that you are no longer thinking about posting, or about sense, or about how much you're going to look stupid if you fail to not make it.
It is notoriously difficult to prise your point away from these three things during the few minutes you have at your disposal. Hence most people's failure, and their eventual disillusionment with this exhilarating and spectacular sport.
If, however, you are lucky enough to have your point minutearily randomized at the crucial minutes by, say, Sargeant Hartman's gorgeous pair of legs (tentacles, pseudopodia, according to phyllum and/or personal inclination) or Tavrobel going off in your vicinity, or by suddenly spotting an extremely rare species of CK crawling along a nearby twig, then in your astonishment you will not make sense completely and remain bobbing just a few inches beyond it in what might seem to be a slightly retarded manner.
This is a minute for superb and delicate randomization.
SpAm and be random, be random and 5PAM.
Ignore all considerations of your own intelligence and simply let yourself Uncle Spam 1337er.
Do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful.
They are most likely to say something along the lines of, 'Nobody gives a purple pancake what you think, you dumb unable to spam right noob!'
It is vitally important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right.
Spam Marsh 1337er and 1337er.
Try a few image macros, gentle ones at first, then Maps along the forum breathing regularly.
DO NOT WAVE AT ANYBODY.
When you have done this a few times you will find the moment of randomization rapidly becomes easier and easier to achieve.
You will then learn all sorts of things about how to control your spammage, your macros, your 1337ness, and the trick usually lies in not thinking too hard about whatever you want to do, but just allowing it to happen as if it was going to anyway.
You will also learn about how to finish properly, which is something you will almost certainly n00b, and n00b up badly, on your first attempt.
There are private spamming clubs you can join which help you achieve the 321898316 minute of randomization. They spammail people like Lekana or TyphhonTheReapa to leap out from behind Ouch!'s couch and do their thing at the critical minutes. Few genuine spam-hikers will be able to climb over the electric fence to join these clubs, but some may be able to dsf xckmn;lj,8120p 9ALIK 023pp;d 9sa8y 90q 9aoph f03r qp90 etc. etc. and so forth.

[Peegee]

akljsdf skldjfakl jdlfja; s;dkfjas dlf

askldfjla

psychotic is aklsdjfla klasdjfakl sjdf klsdfj sometimes he aklsdjfka laksjd lfkajsl dfkjaskldfjla slfjkas dklfjlasj dklfjklasjkdlf aklsjdflj akls

but alskdfjlas fklja slkdjfl aksjdlf aklsjdfl ajklsdjf klajsdfkljalsdjkl 235j23kl5jl2j3k5lj23l5jl23j5l klwj54r23klj4kl23j4klj23kl4j l23k4j23kl4jl

here is a long lk23j4j23l4kl234l23j????

[demondude]

[loben]

(waves)

To beet max powers to the punch, SPAM IS AN ELISTIST TOOL!!!!

....and....uh....KITTY NINJA AWAY!!!

[demondude]

[loben]

THATS IT, KITTEN BATTLE!!!!!

[KentaRawr!]

500 Step Cheat to get Thread Closed

Step 1. Go to your computer.
Step 2. Throw pie at the monitor.
Step 3. Pee on your computer.
Step 4. Make a 500 Step Cheat to get thread closed.
Step 5. Maybe you should just give up, no one's going to read the whole thing.
Step 6. Yeah, maybe you're right...
Step 7. Wait until tomorrow.
Step 8. Yeah, maybe THEN it will be closed.
Step 9. Up up, down down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start!
Step 10. POOF!

Edit: CATS!