I got anally raped by a tree stump. In other words I was sliding on a hill I was not suppose to slide on, and I fell off the toboggan and landed on my tail bone on a tree stump. They had to carry me back up and I could barely walk for a week. Limped all the following week.

A few years later at work, I was leaning on my chair and managed to fall and land on my tail bone once again, I spent a few hours laying down with a frozen can of I forget what between my butt cheeks.