What is love?

[Nominus Experse]

Whatever the case, I find it an amazing thing when two people are genuinely "compatible".

We've all seen such couples before, and perhaps, if you are lucky enough, you are in such a relationship.


If even it seems that the "magic" of love is degraded or lost when chemical reactions seem to be the cause of love, I think it's a unique and very "magical" thing - in its own sense - that two people are able to find someone who seems to mesh so very perfectly with them.

[Anaisa]

Oh, but I know plenty of people who do stay together.

But it doesn't happen with everybody, not even the majority of people. An how many couples do you know of that have only ever been with each other nobody else, stayed together for the rest of their lives, an have now died?

And for a far longer period of time than just about every other animal on the planet.

Humans have a longer lifespan than a lot of animals, so obviously the humans that do mate for life could be together longer than the animals that mate for life are, because they don't live as long. So what's your point?

Anyway, sometimes the chemistry between two persons just doesn't match . Some people are simply not compatible.

An how does that fit in with the chemical reaction dependence theory?

[Innes]

Baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me, no more

That's what it is. It's lyrics! ^_^

[The Ceej]

I didn't say that attachment was chemical reaction. I don't think it is. That's something everyone else added. Attachment is what's left after the chemical reaction is over. You know the person and you're comfortable with them and that's why you stay. That's also why a lot of people cheat on their significant other. They have the chemical reaction with someone else and only the attachment with their partner.

[Mirage]

When I said longer period of time, I meant relative to our longer life spans. I thought that was self evident, but apparently not.

As for the last part, it fits quite easily. I'm not saying every person has the potential to trigger the exact same reactions that others. Looks aren't the only factor after all, there's also pheromones and a myriad of other factors that I haven't taken into account :p.

[Anaisa]

When I said longer period of time, I meant relative to our longer life spans. I thought that was self evident, but apparently not.

Yes, it is self evident. The point to saying it though is not. Hence me asking what's your point? Which you haven't answered.

As for the last part, it fits quite easily. I'm not saying every person has the potential to trigger the exact same reactions that others. Looks aren't the only factor after all, there's also pheromones and a myriad of other factors that I haven't taken into account .

So basically you're admitting the theory is filled with flaws, an has overlooked many other things. So we're in agreement on that then.

I didn't say that attachment was chemical reaction. I don't think it is. That's something everyone else added. Attachment is what's left after the chemical reaction is over. You know the person and you're comfortable with them and that's why you stay. That's also why a lot of people cheat on their significant other. They have the chemical reaction with someone else and only the attachment with their partner.

But if the chemical reaction is created by lust, then as long as they still lust after their partner, no matter how long they've been together, the chemical reaction would still take place.

[The Ceej]

It's not only lust. It's lust and infatuation. As soon as one of those two factors starts to die, the sparks go away. But at some point, as with any high, the high goes away on its own anyway. If you smoke one joint a day for a while, eventually it's not going to get you high anymore. You're going to need more pot or a new drug. I should refer you to an episode of a Penn & Teller show I can't name because I don't like the way censorship works on this site. It's from season 2 and called The Business Of Love. You'll learn a lot more than I can tell you from people who know a lot more than me.

[ShunNakamura]

<span style="color:#FFCCFF">
This quote effectively sums up what I think of the matter.

"I not understand what this is you call love," she[Firekeeper] said.

"I adore you," the Meddler began. "You fascinate me. I want you with me always. I want . . ."

"You want," Firekeeper interrupted. "You not seem to care what I want. I not want you. I know who I want, and he is not you."

She laid a hand on Blind Seer's head, just in case the Meddler retained the least bit of confusion about who she meant.

"But, Firekeeper, can't you understand?" the Meddler's voice had risen with the force of his protest, and now he began to cough.

Zebel made him sip something that smelled strongly of honey, but when he suggested the sick man lay back, the Meddler refused.

"I need to talk to her," he said peevishly. "I need to explain that she is making a horrible error."

Firekeeper tilted her head to one side in a wolfish query.

"What error?"

"How can you let yourself believe you love a wolf?" the Meddler said. "You are human, no matter what you choose to think. You are not a wolf. You must give you love to another human, not to a Beast, no matter how noble and intelligent and talented that Beats may be."

Blind Seer growled, "I am glad you think so highly of me, Meddler, but take care."

Firekeeper did not translate, for she knew the Meddler would understand, but she saw the three humans stiffen and realized they thought Blind Seer was about to attack. Zebel, indeed, had, with more courage than wisdom, moved to insinuate his body between the wolf and his patient.

Firekeeper hastened to reassure them.

"Blind Seer not hurt the Meddler. He remember is Arasan, too."

She returned her attention to the man on the bed. He was - or would be, when the healing was completed - a handsome figure of a man, but she felt not the least stirring in her heart or her body when she looked at him.

"Meddler, I have thinked . . ."

"Thought," Derian muttered reflexively.

"Thought a great deal about this," Firekeeper continued, choosing her words with care.

A long time ago, Derian had told her a poorly chosen word was like tainted water and could create sickness. Then she had not believed him, but now she had seen enough that she knew her friend had been right.

"In my thinking," she went on, "I have tried to understand what is meant by love. First, I thought about mating, but I think that love is more than mating. Humans are different than wolves in this, because they are in season almost all the time and so their heads confuse desire and love. I think this is one way the wolf way is wiser. Wolves are only in season for a short time each year, and even then, for the good of the pack, only the Ones breed."

She drew in a deep breath, knowing she was oversimplifying, but knowing this must be said, even if the talk of mating was making Derian's face turn a little red.

"Wolves understand," Firekeeper continued, "that love is for more. Love is trusting someone will guard your back. Love is knowing that when you are wounded, that your loved one will drag food to where you are fallen. Love is knowing that you would this for the other, even if doing that means going hungry for yourself. Love is knowing that when you die, someone will care enough to sing of you to the moon."

The Meddler was staring at her in such complete silence and with such profound attention that Firekeeper wondered if Arasan was making him listen rather than think about what clever think he would say next. She hurried her words along lest the moment be lost.

"You, and not just you, some others who think they mean well for me - and for Blind Seer - have spoken about how your hearts loving means nothing because our shapes are different. For a time, I let this confuse me. Then I came to know more and more people who loved, and I realized that this matter of shape was all a twisting, turning mass of vines, something that seemed more massive than it was.

"When Bitter was mutilated by the blood briar, Lovable did not stop loving him. She nearly died trying to save him. Afterwards, he was ugly, but no one said, 'Lovable, find yourself a strong young mate. This hurt bird cannot fly well.' I think, even, that if Lovable had left Bitter, then everyone would have thought her weak."

"But they are both ravens," the Meddler said softly, "not a raven and a deer."

"Or a human and a wolf," Firekeeper said. "I know. But what does human and human or wolf and wolf matter? I think that matching only matter for mating and for bearing children.Yet not all humans have children, and you do not condemn those like Urgana who have not become mothers, or like Arasan who are not fathers. As I said before, in a wolf pack, not all the pack members are parents to pups. Indeed, if every member of the wolf pack tried to have pups, then that would be the wrongness, not the other.

"Humans love their mates even when the time for having young is over. They care for each other even when they grow old and ill. To me, when you say you love what you are saying is you desire, you want . . . You want what you see now. What you desire now. There is no strength in that feeling to carry you where change will take you. That is not love. That you are calling love is something my wolf's heart does not understand."

Firekeeper looked at Ynamynet. "You and Skea have just one child. Would you have put Skea from you in if in the fighting he had been so wounded that there would be no others?"

"Never!" Ynamynet said so fiercely that Sunshine looked about to cry. Ynamynet went on more quietly. "You speak closer to the truth than you know, Firekeeper. For a long time, because of what querinalo did to me, I did not think I could have children. Skea told me that didn't matter, and he could love me even though my body is like ice to hold. I thought he would soon tire of me, but you know this is not the way it is with us."

Firekeeper looked at Derian, but she would not embarrass her friend by pointing out his own physical changes made him as much unlike Isende as like. He, however, spoke his own thoughts.

"I thought I was a monster, yet no one has told me that I should not love Isende, and she herself told me that shape and the bearing of children - I mean . . ." His face grew as red as his hair, "I mean, we don't know if we can, but no one has told us that we cannot love."

The Meddler was restless and wild-eyed. "But Firekeeper is a human and she says she loves a wolf! Ynamynet and Derian - you at least started out human, and just changed a little."

Firekeeper shook her head.

"I started out wolf, and have learned a little to be human. In my heart, though, I do not think I could love a human, or love after the best of the human way. I am a wolf, and a wolf is who I love. Shape does not matter. Heart and sould is what loves, as Ynamynet and Skea, and Doc and Elise, and Bitter and Lovable, and all those who have fought to hold on to their love even when others and even their own hearts have told them to doubt."

She knelt and put her arms around Blind Seer.

"He is who I love. If you love me, Meddler, then wish us well. That would be true love, to feel joy that I have found one to trust and who I wish to run beside for as long as I have life and breath."

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[Anaisa]

It's not only lust. It's lust and infatuation. As soon as one of those two factors starts to die, the sparks go away. But at some point, as with any high, the high goes away on its own anyway. If you smoke one joint a day for a while, eventually it's not going to get you high anymore. You're going to need more pot or a new drug. I should refer you to an episode of a Penn & Teller show I can't name because I don't like the way censorship works on this site. It's from season 2 and called The Business Of Love. You'll learn a lot more than I can tell you from people who know a lot more than me.

But being happy or being sad also causes a chemical reaction. Somebody can do something that makes them happy continously throughout their lives, an still feel happy doing it, even though they've done it for along time. An people can still feel sad about one particular thing throughout their life. So what's different about the chemical reaction that love causes, that makes being with the same person even if you still care about them an find them attractive, wear off?

[The Ceej]

I refer you to that episode. I said it was a chemical high. Much like the use of a drug. A natural high, if you will. And I think I will. We're really just talking in circles here and it would be redundant for me to answer the same questions the same way every time. So, buy, rent, or download that episode of that show and learn something. As much as I'd like to think I do, I don't know everything. I told you what I know about the subject and I can't tell you anymore without just making stuff up. I'm sorry.

[Nominus Experse]

What was the name of the program, Ceej? It intrigues me.

[Madame Adequate]

Chemicals can't do that.

[The Ceej]

What was the name of the program, Ceej? It intrigues me.

I can't tell you the name of the show because it would be censored. But it's that show that Penn & Teller do on Showtime. It comes from the second season of the show and the episode is called The Business Of Love.

And MILF, I don't know where you get the idea that chemicals can't make you high.

[ZeZipster]

A craving to be intimately (but not always sexually) involved with a person. I like to think of it as merely exaggerated liking.

[Marluxiaswife]

"O.k this is what i think Love is sorry if i am wrong"

Family- I say its when you care about them alot. You protect your family and stand up for them too. If your Mother and Father is geting old you should start helping them out and doing stuff for them and saying I love you to them.

Friends- When you care about your friend so much you don't want them to get hurt or doing anything stupitd. Listening to what there prombles are and helping them out when they ask you. Never ditching you when you are hanging out with them or waiting for them and they never show up. You must care about your friends very much.

Male/Female- You get to know the person, see what you guys have in commen. Huging them, geting them stuff on there birthdays,christmas, v-day, and calling them once in a while to see how they are doing. You got to be honest with them not tell them lies, that will break their heart. Don't look at other people, always look at the person your with and love them with all your heart.

Pets/Animals- You feeding them,cleaning them,spending time with them. Brushing your pet's fur so it doesn't get all messy. I love my cats that why and my dog to even thought i kind of not like dogs i'm trying to thought.