God, don't think I won't start the apocalypse for some Stephen Colbert Americone Dream.
Scene: Your friend has been diagnosed with cancer.
God, don't think I won't start the apocalypse for some Stephen Colbert Americone Dream.
Scene: Your friend has been diagnosed with cancer.
Kaycee says (12:06 AM):
whos' obama?
"Now's a good time to give me the ten bucks you owe me. You won't need it where you're going."
SITUATION: You're on your way to your car, late for work, when your neighbor complains about your dog crapping in his lawn.
"I'll keep my dog off your lawn as soon as you promise to keep that cat out of my sand box" >=(
Situation: Your friend's computer has been crashing continually for the past several months, and you know he doesn't have the money to buy a better one. This particular time, it doesn't seem to want to start back up.
*Builds a marionette show that looks like a monitor and sits under the desk behind the computer pulling the strings of icons while making strange beeping and ventilator sounds.*
Scenario: Your friend is jealous because you get to use the Hammerspace and all he gets is a rubber ducky............ ???
"Get over it!"
Situation: You're a Death Eater and you just messed up a very important mission, and a thoroghly pissed off Lord Voldemort wants "a word" with you about doing the job properly.
Who controls the past, controls the future. Who controls the present, controls the past.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2712300/1/
Big Brother's Xenogears novelization
Juff giff mf a minuff. Imm eaffing heew.
You're heading down a hill on a road riding a unicycle. Suddenly, you hit a bump on the road and you go flying into someone's windshield. You're absolutely fine and uninjured even though your head is inside the car while the rest of your body is outside of it while the driver screams hysterically.
Remember safety first! Always wear a seatbelt
Situation: you're on the verge of taking over the world when suddenly the good guys come out with something unexpected that could stop you, all your financial backers and militant backers can hear you what do you say?
WHERE IS MY BLANKIE?!
Situation: You are about to seduce the most gorgeous person in the world, but then your mother calls and she is on speaker phone, what do you say?
"I told you, I'll clean my room when I get home! By the way, what's for dinner?"Originally Posted by The Summoner of Leviathan
Situation: You are required to speak to elementary classes in school for community service in order to stay out of jail for a massive microwave thievery. A second grader asks you, "What's the meaning of life?"
42.......... and a half.
You don't finish your class assignment because you were sleeping with your prof's wife.
Your spouse ate it.
You witness a horrible car wreck and run to the site. You see a woman crawling out of her car, clearly about to die. She wants you to call for help.
You call up your old college roommate while sitting on the woman's face.
Situation: A North Korean cop catches you defacing a large billboard of Kim Jong-il (You're drawing facial hair on his picture and giving him devil horns) in the middle of Pyongyang, and he already has his truncheon out.
Who controls the past, controls the future. Who controls the present, controls the past.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2712300/1/
Big Brother's Xenogears novelization
"You can help me down in a minute. I'm not done changing 'Kim Jong' to 'Menta Lee.'"
You get drunk at a bar and pass out. You awaken face down on the floor with a guy pulling your pants down behind you.
"Not now, Paul."
SITUATION:You just saw a guy run into a wall. He seems OK, though a little dazed, and some guy's searching his pockets.
Last edited by Quindiana Jones; 09-23-2007 at 11:15 AM. Reason: FINE THEN Kentarou.
<del>"Care to help me up, stranger?"</del>
Edit: "I call dibs on the wallet."
Situation: Some random guy tries to drop an X-Box on your head.
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