Smurf the internet. The easiest way to do it is by phone. Look up someone in the phone book. We'll call her Betty Smith. You call her up and say the following:

"May I speak to Betty Smith, please?"
"This is Betty."
"Ms. Smith, I'm sorry but we have to swear out a warrant for your arrest."
"Why?"
"It seems you haven't reported for jury duty."
"I never got a letter."
"Hold on. Let me check something. [brief silence] You're Betty Smith?"
"Yes."
"Let me check your social security number. Can you give that to me?"
<betty gives="" ssn="">[Betty gives SSN]
[Brief silence]"Oh. I'm sorry, Ma'am. It seems you're fine. We called the wrong Betty Smith. Don't worry about it. You have a great day."

Now, you have her name, her address, her phone number, and her social security number. That's enough to get a credit card in her name. Then you just go shopping until she realizes she's in outrageous debt and tries to figure out how it happened.</betty>