Which is worse

**rubah** · 09-07-2007, 04:25 PM

A douchbag or a dumb-butt?

THE SET:
11:30 on a brilliantly windy Thursday night, 7th floor of the skyscraping "P-Town" form, room B-706.

THE PLAYERS:
The Culprit
The Student
The Roomie
The Boyfriend
The Friend
The Great Unwashed Masses
The Alarm

The Student has gone to bed and after having done certain things before The Roomie appeared, is valiantly trying to get some sleep after The Roomie has meandered in before her wake up time of 6:45!

The Student: Oh my, there's the sound of boys laughing and running up and down a hallway. Are they on my floor?! Don't they know that they must be QUIET after 10 PM?! They are surely more than two doors away!

The Roomie moans quietly and shifts in her bed. A piercing siren noise is heard.

The Student: Say, that's an alarm! By golly I hope it says 'Stand By' and not 'Evacuate!'

The Alarm: An emergency has been declared in this building. Please exit the building by the nearest fire exit or stair. Do not use the elevators. Repeat, do not use the elevators. BEEP BEEP BEEP.

The Student: (Aside)smurf! (Aloud)What do you want to bet that was those guys we heard a couple of minutes ago?

The Roomie: (groggily) Mmhmm.

The Student and The Roomie climb out of their beds to join The Great Unwashed Masses, some of whom were trying to get washed but were ousted from their bathing by The Alarm. There is a general herdlike movement completely unlike the behavior that would take place had anyone actually believed there was an emergency.

A Great Unwashed Mass: Hey, do you guys smell burnt popcorn?

Another Great Unwashed Mass: Hey you know, SMURF these stairs!

Precious minutes later, The Student arrives in the safety of the brilliantly windy night and scans the horizon for The Boyfriend

The Student: Oh! The Boyfriend!
The Boyfriend: Hey there. They embrace.

The Friend: Nice night out! So, do you know what happened?
The Student: My guess is that it was the douchbags running around the hall laughing did it for FUN
The Boyfriend: I bet there was some dumb-butt trying to smoke pot in their dorm room!
The Friend: You know, I think I heard some guys running around on our dear old Fourth Floor. Maybe there's something to that!

Two Great Unwashed Masses come in for the gossip
A Great Unwashed Mass: Hey you know what? I bet some guy was smoking right in front of his smoke detector!
Another Great Unwashed Mass: I bet he would say 'oh I was just standing in front of it, and my finger slipped on the trigger!

Our heroes move away from these dorks.

The Student: Holy crap! A firetruck!
The Boyfriend: Holy crap, another firetruck!
The Friend: SWEET! Three firetrucks!
The Student: Lol, I guess this wasn't a drill, even though that's obvious since we had a drill LAST THURSDAY NIGHT
The Boyfriend: Yeah, well we didn't take part in that one, remember! We had just got back from that concert!
The Friend: Huh? Last Thursday? Oh right, I wasn't here because I had TWO HOUR PHYSICS LAB AT 7:30 PM
The Student And Boyfriend: ^_^

The Student: Oh look, the trucks are leaving

The Boyfriend and Friend:

The Student: I guess we might as well head back around.

There is a mass influx into the building. The Great Unwashed Masses desire greatly to return to their washing, sleeping, or perhaps running up and down corridors laughing. The trek up the stairs is long and arduous, mostly because The Great Unwashed Masses are in no hurry, as they don't have 7:30 AM Chemistry

The Student: Man these people are so slow.
The Boyfriend: You want to stop by my room on the fourth floor and wait for everyone to get cleared out?
The Student: Do I!?

Inside The Boyfriend's room:

The Student: Hey, how did that song go that was in that show we watched this evening at Sugoi! Anime!?
The Boyfriend: I'm not sure. Let's look for it on youtube!
The Student: My thoughts exactly, what were some keywords?
The Boyfriend: The school was called Cromatie High
The Student: Oh yeah! Here it is! YouTube - Cromartie HS - Ep3,Chorus of that song [Spanish subs]

They hum along

The Student: Well, I guess we should go to bed, 6:45 will come early this morning.
The Boyfriend: I set my alarm to 6:50, actually.
The Student: (Aside): SMURFER!
The Boyfriend: I'll walk you to the elevator.

They embrace passionately before parting

The Student: Goodnight! I love you!
The Boyfriend: I love you too. Night

The Student journeys back to the 7th floor of P-Town, and crawls into her bed wishing the morning would not come. After a great while, she falls asleep and dreams.

FOUR HOURS LATER:

There is a loud CRACK! of lightning!

The Student: (Internally) SMUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURFZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Fin

**XxSephirothxX** · 09-07-2007, 04:31 PM

Welcome to dorm life. The fire department has to respond if it's not a drill, regardless of whether or not there's an obvious lack of fire. Just wait till you have your first alarm at 2 am when it's pouring rain outside.

**Madame Adequate** · 09-07-2007, 04:34 PM

One of the many reasons I was glad not to have been in dorms last year. Or this year. Or ever.

Smurf them and smurf their fire alarms, be they drills, false, or genuine.

**Vermachtnis** · 09-07-2007, 04:38 PM

Maybe, just maybe you'll be super lucky and you'll get your fire alarm at two in the freakin' morning when it's 15 Degrees out side. Umm...15 Ferienheit. I think that's like negative 3 Celsius. Since I've been living in dorms, I've grown to loathe the smell of popcorn.

**rubah** · 09-07-2007, 08:43 PM

Originally Posted by Azar

Welcome to dorm life. The fire department has to respond if it's not a drill, regardless of whether or not there's an obvious lack of fire. Just wait till you have your first alarm at 2 am when it's pouring rain outside.

I know, I know. I just wanted to type up a script

**oddler** · 09-07-2007, 09:05 PM

Don't you hate being a guy that's jerked awake by a 3 AM fire drill at an all-girl's school in your boxers and a t-shirt when it's February.

I do.

**Miriel** · 09-07-2007, 09:25 PM

Uh. My suitemates and I ignored every single fire alarm that went off my Freshman year. Seriously, no one cared. We'd just peek around to see if anything was actually on fire and then went back to regular activities.

Douchebags are obviously worse.

**XxSephirothxX** · 09-07-2007, 09:28 PM

I think prolonged exposure to the alarms in my dorm would've actually caused damage to our ears.

**Jojee** · 09-07-2007, 09:30 PM

douchebag worse, imo. :P

Reminds me of my freshman year in the dorms, and of an old LJ entry which I shall now dig up. xD Oh the lovely conversations I've had with krissy -_- This was like... the 3rd day in a roll that I was woken up by the fire alarm in the middle of the night and we had to stay outside for over two hours because of some stupid kid putting a lighter up to the sprinklers. Luckily that was on the 6th floor, and the whole floor and like the 3 below it all got completely flooded, and I was on the 10th. ^_^

ineffable plan: word up
Joyeebloo: I AM SO PISSED
Joyeebloo: I HATE PEOPLE
Joyeebloo: DAMNNN DORM
Joyeebloo: askdjfhasjkfh
ineffable plan: wont let you slreep?
Joyeebloo: I WAS JUST SLEEPING
Joyeebloo: SHUT TUE smurf UP STOPADSflkjahsdjkf
Joyeebloo: FIRE ALARM
Joyeebloo: alskdjf
Joyeebloo: A smurfING GAIN
Joyeebloo: ajksdfhakjwehr
ineffable plan: :{{{
ineffable plan: no real fire?
Joyeebloo: CAN I GET SOME smurfING SLEEP AROUND HERE
Joyeebloo: smurf ATHjaskjdrfh
ineffable plan: ok try again
Joyeebloo: I NEED TO BE BeAUTIFUl I NEED MY smurfING BEAUTY SLEEP
Joyeebloo: I WORK AT 7 TOMROROW
Joyeebloo: THEY WOKE ME up AT 5 YESTERDAY
Joyeebloo: LEAVE ME ALONE
ineffable plan: yea dont owrry
ineffable plan: if they find whoever did it
ineffable plan: he's getting beat up
Joyeebloo: I have visions in my head
Joyeebloo: of finding this kuid
Joyeebloo: grabbing him by the neck
Joyeebloo: and punching him repeatedly]
Joyeebloo: then wringing his neck off
Joyeebloo: hmm
Joyeebloo: involves swords too
Joyeebloo: i have a sword
ineffable plan: do uyou

^ anger management plz!

**edczxcvbnm** · 09-07-2007, 09:36 PM

Originally Posted by Jojee

ineffable plan: word up
Joyeebloo: I AM SO PISSED
Joyeebloo: I HATE PEOPLE
Joyeebloo: DAMNNN DORM
Joyeebloo: askdjfhasjkfh
ineffable plan: wont let you slreep?
Joyeebloo: I WAS JUST SLEEPING
Joyeebloo: SHUT TUE smurf UP STOPADSflkjahsdjkf
Joyeebloo: FIRE ALARM
Joyeebloo: alskdjf
Joyeebloo: A smurfING GAIN
Joyeebloo: ajksdfhakjwehr
ineffable plan: :{{{
ineffable plan: no real fire?
Joyeebloo: CAN I GET SOME smurfING SLEEP AROUND HERE
Joyeebloo: smurf ATHjaskjdrfh
ineffable plan: ok try again
Joyeebloo: I NEED TO BE BeAUTIFUl I NEED MY smurfING BEAUTY SLEEP
Joyeebloo: I WORK AT 7 TOMROROW
Joyeebloo: THEY WOKE ME up AT 5 YESTERDAY
Joyeebloo: LEAVE ME ALONE
ineffable plan: yea dont owrry
ineffable plan: if they find whoever did it
ineffable plan: he's getting beat up
Joyeebloo: I have visions in my head
Joyeebloo: of finding this kuid
Joyeebloo: grabbing him by the neck
Joyeebloo: and punching him repeatedly]
Joyeebloo: then wringing his neck off
Joyeebloo: hmm
Joyeebloo: involves swords too
Joyeebloo: i have a sword
ineffable plan: do uyou

^ anger management plz!

Holy

that conversation is hilarious XD

When I was in a dorm there was only 1 fire alarm that went off so I didn't really care too much.

**rubah** · 09-08-2007, 07:12 AM

man jojo, I fantasized about punching the lights out of the guy too!

**Jojee** · 09-08-2007, 07:19 AM

luckyy ed

And people like Miriel who can just ignore the fire alarms, lucky too. My dorm ones were SO loud and screeching and really annoying x_x;; I had to cover my ears whenever they went off because they hurt my ears so much, and they wouldn't stop for the whole time you were supposed to be outside. Walking up and down 10 flights of stairs every night when you're half asleep = not fun

rubah I'll help :</>D I'm always up for random acts of violence.

**Yamaneko** · 09-08-2007, 07:26 AM

Give me cliff/sparknotes version.

**Shoeberto** · 09-08-2007, 07:32 AM

Originally Posted by Yamaneko

Give me cliff/sparknotes version.

Douchebag pulls fire alarm near midnight when people are trying to get some sleep for a 7:30AM chemistry class followed by an 8:30AM physics test.

**Jojee** · 09-08-2007, 07:35 AM

Originally Posted by Hsu

Originally Posted by Yamaneko

Give me cliff/sparknotes version.

Douchebag pulls fire alarm near midnight when people are trying to get some sleep for a 7:30AM chemistry class followed by an 8:30AM physics test.

You forgot themes and motifs: the coexistance of good and evil, civilization vs savagery, loss of innocence, and biblical parallels.

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