Quote Originally Posted by fire_of_avalon View Post
Quote Originally Posted by MKusanagi View Post
A few things
1) Needs a thesis, or more easily found thesis
2) don't know if it was just formatting difference but there seems to be more than one space between words
3) Over page limit

I'm attaching a reverse copy of your work with highlights where I saw errors or where things could be improved. Over all this is a good essay. I need to read that book haha.
The thesis was sooo hard to do because it comprised two different ideas that I felt needed so much background. The reader/grader also mentioned the heavy intro/indefinite thesis. The spaces between words could be a difference between different editions of Word. I double space after periods (because we're using MLA), but not after individual words.

Thanks for your editing! I received a grade for this paper (A- yay!), but I'll definitely keep your suggestions in mind for the next.
Meaning the grader wanted a clearer thesis or that they wanted an indefinite one? Yeah, I noticed you were using MLA. I learned something new. Double space after periods, eh? I'll have to keep that in mind. Hope I was of help. I joined to late to be of help, huh.