DuckHunt Dog Conspiracy Theory.
Has anyone else noticed that the ducks always jump out from where the dog is? Why doesn't the Dog catch them? Or maybe it's always one duck, and he just paints it a different color and throws them at you. Or perhaps it's a massive ploy by the Patriots...
There is a secret government, though no one knows it, that has the ability to decide what is in Video Games, though not entirely by law. As everyone knows, there are 3 people in the ESRB. But, no one knows who, now do they? But I can tell you who they are. George Bush, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore. All of them truly believe that peace can only come from controlling the public. But, Ken, the ESRB doesn't control what's in Video Games! Oh, but yes, they do.
In the Video Gaming industry, you'll always want a certain rating to appeal to a certain audience. Some companies don't want an E rating, because while that opens up horizons for younger players with paranoid soccer Moms, they'll think, "Hey! It's got no blood or any of that stuff I like!" and pass it off. So people in Gaming companies have to be sure they get a certain rating, and the ESRB completely decides that. The ESRB can simply say "If the bird comes from the number 6 a 3rd time, it's insulting to Christianity. Instant AO.", thus resulting in this game not being sold in stores. Oh, but the ESRB has a fourth man, one who doesn't rate the games, but ensure the public keeps a set idea on certain things, such as Video Games. His name is Jack Thompson, but most of you likely know him as Del Murder. Yes, that's right, Del Murder.
"Oh, but Ken, the ESRB wasn't around when Duck Hunt was!" Oh, yes, they were. But they weren't called the ESRB. They were called the Mafia. Yes, it's true. The Mafia only has 4 members of immensely trained assassins, able to launder enough money to take over the United States of America, and get immense plastic surgery after every kill. That was what one had to do in order to enter: Change their looks immensely. Why do you think Michael Jackson did it? He was told he could join if he changed his looks to the point of non-recognizability. Every time he tried, he was deemed un-worthy, but in truth, the ESRBMAFIA was just using him as a ploy. He would later be accused by Hillary Clinton (In the disguise of a redneck) that he raped her son. His immense changes in looks and his popularity made him an extremely open man to be mocked, and to be considered disgusting in every manner. It was easy gaining fake evidence against him. The ESRBMAFIA needed him out of the picture, because he knew too much about their workings. But it also made way for people in the ESRBMAFIA to gain a reputation, in disguise of lawyers against Michael Jackson.
But, let's get back to Duckhunt. George Bush was sent to NOA, and had the President of Nintendo at gun-point. He said if they didn't make it so the Duck Hunt Ducks came from where the DOG is, rather than from the sky or random grass areas, he would pull the trigger. He had to see the programming done right in front of his eyes. When he saw it was done, he left. No one knew why he did what he did, but now we do. The Duck Hunt Duck's location represents the Dog's loyalness to you, or rather, the Government. It portrays the idea that the dog, or rather, the Government, will always be there to do what they want with you, and for your needs. Their goal is quite clearly stated in Metal Gear Solid 2: The Sons of Liberty.
In this game, it portrayed the logic behind their actions, and why they do it, as well as the likely arguments that would ensue from the average, young male who would be playing, putting gamer's tongues at the cat's paws. Then, the one who is supposedly on your side (in terms of standing to the Patriots, not saving a baby.) turns against you, and then associates himself as a villain to the story. My friends, Hideo Kojima himself is one of the ESRB, or perhaps more fittingly, the Patriots. He is Hillary Clinton. Simply look at the resemblance!
This picture is undeniable. Hillary Clinton IS Hideo Kojima. But why paste this message into his, I mean, HER games? Simple. To prepare for the 2010 Revolution, where this world-wide communism will take over the world.
We must stop this! Grab your light-guns, men and women!
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Originally Posted by Dyslexicon
