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Thread: OMG NO WAI

  1. #16

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    TEXAS (CNN) -- In light of recent terrorist attacks, the Department of Homeland Security has issued a ban on all sales and distribution of the 1997 hit video game, Final Fantasy VII

    The game involves the main character, Cloud Strife, planting bombs in power plants in a heavily populated city. The protagonist works with the terrorist group "Avalanche" bombing locations throughout the beginning of the game.

    The decision was made only hours after the bombing of a chemical plant in Fort Worth, Texas. The FBI is still hot on the trails of the culprit, going by the hacker alias "frootloops". An FBI spokesperson told CNN at the time that investigators have already seized equipment in the culprits house, but frootloops was nowhere to be found. "Upon confiscation of the equipment, we found a large collection of child pornography on the culprits hard drive." said the FBI spokesperson.

    President Bush has already indicated he's opposed to Square-Enix role playing games. "Mario doesn't blow up power plants" Bush said on thursday. Mario was unavailible for comment.

    Parenting groups are also up in arms against the game. "These 'role playing games' are teaching our children to use magic and summon demons, they're destroying our childrens future and making them worship satan. We can't allow this to continue." Various forms of Magic have been a staple of every game in the Final Fantasy series dating back to Final Fantasy released in 1990 for the Nintendo Entertainment System. "It's almost as bad as Harry Potter!" A parent who wishes to remain anonymous said.

    Sen. Hillary Clinton also is highly opposed to the game.

    "First Grand Theft Auto, and now this. I'm starting to think we should just ban all video games. Final Fantasy VII is an awful game, and should have never been created in the first place. I mean, look at the size of Tifa's breasts! They're destroying our childrens future. The problem of explicit video games is spiraling out of control." Clinton wrote in a letter to the head of the Federal Trade Commission. Tifa's breasts were unavailible for comment.

    Wal-Mart Stores Inc., Target Corp., Best Buy Co. and Circuit City Stores Inc. have pulled the game from their shelves following the recent ban.

  2. #17
    Paganini is a bastard. Rengori's Avatar
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    Thank you Kishi.
    JOY IS A BITCH, but she is so adorable!
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    Kaycee says (12:06 AM):
    whos' obama?

  3. #18
    Recognized Member Chemical's Avatar
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    BAHAHA


    you know this means they're probably watching us and this site; like were all a bunch of terrorists brainwashed by FF7.


    Boldly go.

  4. #19
    Azalar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Rikku View Post
    How fascinating. We're going to have a real, life Resident Evil soon.
    Your to tell me that the "People" Ive been shooting havent been Zombies?

    God Darn it!! Ive been lied too.


  5. #20
    Gaze Upon the Mega Man! JackNapier's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny View Post
    I can, and will, but you will never hear it ever.
    What if she gives you her phone number? I hear you're quite skilled in animal noises.

  6. #21
    Mold Anus Old Manus's Avatar
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    They call themselves 'Anonymous'


    Oh wait, that one was real.


    there was a picture here

  7. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rengori View Post
    Thank you Kishi.
    np

    Quote Originally Posted by Übel View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny View Post
    I can, and will, but you will never hear it ever.
    What if she gives you her phone number? I hear you're quite skilled in animal noises.
    I have offered her this and she has yet to take me up on it. Where did you hear this gross rumor?

  8. #23
    Recognized Member Jessweeee♪'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Old Manus View Post
    They call themselves 'Anonymous'


    Oh wait, that one was real.
    o_o

  9. #24
    dizzy up the girl Recognized Member Rye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Rengori View Post
    Thank you Kishi.
    np

    Quote Originally Posted by Übel View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny View Post
    I can, and will, but you will never hear it ever.
    What if she gives you her phone number? I hear you're quite skilled in animal noises.
    I have offered her this and she has yet to take me up on it. Where did you hear this gross rumor?
    Let's do it.


  10. #25
    Gaze Upon the Mega Man! JackNapier's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny View Post
    I have offered her this and she has yet to take me up on it. Where did you hear this gross rumor?
    I'll never tell!

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