Funny Joke Thread

[Peegee]

Copy pasta:

There was once a man who was in a bar, terribly drunk. The bartender noticed this, and when he asked for another beer, the bartender politely told him that he was too drunk to be served another drink. The man leaves. He walks in the side door and asks the bartender for a beer. A little frustrated, the bartender repeats the answer he said before. The man leaves. He then comes in the other side door, walks to the bartender and asks for a beer. The bartender is annoyed, and tells the man he is too drunk and to get a ride home and leave his bar. He leaves. He then comes in the BACK door, comes the the bartender, and before he can say a word, the bartender explodes at him. "I told you already, you are way to drunk, you can not have another beer Get out of my bar" Disgruntled, the man looks at the bartender and asks, "Man, how many bars do you work at?"

[Bunny]

Ouch!, I highly suggest you go and change the mistakes that you made while telling your joke.

[Loony BoB]

The best one is about a pimp and how he rips off his ho's. But it has to be told in person. Ask Danielle, she knows! xD But, uh, in the meantime, here's one that got a laugh beforehand. I got it out of FHM but it works anyway.

Two elephants and a snake jump off a cliff.

Boom boom tssssssss.

[DK]

It's been done

The best one is about a pimp and how he rips off his ho's.

Yes, I've got plenty of people with that one. I can't remember if I did it to you or not but I did it to Ant and my Uncle Gareth

[Chemical]

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
A quarterpounder with chese

How much does a pirate pay for piercings?
A Buck-an-eer! Yar.

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground Beef!

[Loony BoB]

It's been done

The best one is about a pimp and how he rips off his ho's.

Yes, I've got plenty of people with that one. I can't remember if I did it to you or not but I did it to Ant and my Uncle Gareth

Nah, I read it. =]

[Ouch!]

Ouch!, I highly suggest you go and change the mistakes that you made while telling your joke.

I'd say typing silver instead of gold once is a pretty good job of not making mistakes near 2:00 AM. What else have I missed? I can't really be bothered to look closely.

[NeoTifa]

man, thats all i got out of the first joke?! i wasted 4 days worth of lunch periods trying to read that pos!!! and the second long one.... he unlocked the platinum door with a gold key? didja notice that?

so a guy walks into a bar ... and gets knocked out.

lol

[The Unknown Guru]

Uh... Wow.

Wow.

Uh...

Wow.

Here's my best:
You hear about the constipated mathematician? He had to work it out with a pencil.

[Clawsze]

Funny joke. You need to be English to get the Man United joke, but you can change the team to anything.

This guy really hates Manchester united fans, whenever he sees one, he goes onto the pavement and runs them over.
One day, he picks up a hitch-hiker, who happens to be the priest of the local church.The priest gets into the back seat. So as the guy drives the priest to church, he sees a Man United fan, so he swerves to hit him, but he thinks to himself, If I hit this guy with the priest in the back, I'll go to hell, so he swerves out of the way, and he hears a bang from the back seat. he says to the priest,
"I was going to hit that Man U fan but I swerved out of the way in time." The priest replies,
"Don't worry, i got the F with the door!"