Thanks guys!

And OMFG, UV Mapping is my most hated field of 3D. I understand there are newer ways to go about it, and we're even getting to the stage of painting textures (i.e. ZBrush). But we've had to do it the old standard way, which is painful...

Here's what my UV's were before with an automatic projection (a huge mess):


Here they are once I had finished (nice and clean, hardly any distortion at all and seams all the in the right places):


Now on to the fun part of actually painting the textures! Yay!