Originally Posted by
Shiny
Luau! If you're hungry for hunk of fat and juicy meat then eat my buddy, Pumbaa, here cuz he’s a treat! Some of these finalists will surely face defeat! A few, tasty swine, but one will do fine. So are ya achin’? Yup yup yup! For some speechin’? Yup yup yup! Well alright then. Let’s get this show on the road for Most Likely to Be Pumbaa!
Baloki: In Disney, warthog is you. And it can singa as well as dance…a. Only someone so flamboyant could pull off such a thing. If you’re a Baloki, flamboyance is basically encoded in your DNA. If you’re a nice, he might sing some show tunes for you. Just don’t ask him for a picture with an autograph. He’ll just give you a diagram of himself nude. Anywayz, will this finalist’s dangling bits rein supreme?
Denmark: This gentleman doesn’t simply walk into Mordor. He launches a massive fart, propelling him a good 50 feet across the plain. As you can see, he gets to where he has to go quickly and efficiently the way a warthog should. Yet, will he be able to get the Ciddie?
DK: Sometimes, Dan likes to be a playa playa. Once, he spied on Simba and Nala getting it on to an Elton John song with his good pal, Loony BoB. He sold the video tape to Big Buns. Speaking of big buns, he has that too. And he uses it to crush his unsuspecting foe after countless hours of teabagging. Is this playa just a P.I.M.P. or will he receive the title of P.I.G.?
Lekana: The body fat that comes with being a warthog has to go somewhere. In this case it went to her breasts and buttocks. Her bootylicious-ness has grabbed the attention of many a teenage boy and Psychotic. But will that help her win this Ciddie?
Levian: To be a warthog, you need a devastatingly foul aroma; one which only this guy has. His smells have fainted the likes of I Took the Red Pill, themagicroundabout and Mother Teresa. However, will his smell be able to conquer this award?
Rantzien: Judging from his laid back exterior, this guy is all about “no worries”. In fact, his lily white belly is able to sing the chorus of "Hakuna Matata". His belly will sing it to you for a fair price of 100,000,000 dollars/euros/etc. Send a check to Will Rat Zen Win?
Rengori: For some reason, this fella doesn’t think he’s got long to live. Apparently, warthogs don’t live that long either. Warthogs live up to approximately 20 years. So, Precious has only a few years to go if he wants to make it to the big time. Regardless, he still has a chance to win this big time. Will he succeed?
Resha: The mating rituals of the Pooja have been examined by various zoologists. One could say that the vagarious ways in which she claims her mate are a bit outlandish, but no one can resist her beautifully brown skin and her wonderfully ivy tusks. Can her tusks woo the voters?
Roto13: His long, flowing, warthog mane is long gone but that doesn’t stop him from making it in the finals. You see, he has that little extra something. Perhaps, it’s because he’s Canadian. And generalists say Canadians love bacon. As everyone should know, bacon is only good when it comes from delicious pork. Will his love for his fellow porkies make him victorious?
rubah: She is a Cid’s Knight and Most Likely to Be Po Po. She came. She saw. She conquered. Her conquering ways are definitely made for the likes of the gun ho pig. But is she made for this kind of pig?