This proves my hypothesis that Santa Claus is gay.
This proves my hypothesis that Santa Claus is gay.
there was a picture here
"Sliding down your chimney" is clearly a euthemismOriginally Posted by Old Manus
Kefka's coming, look intimidating!
Have a nice day!!
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire indeed."Sliding down your chimney" is clearly a euthemism
There is no signature here. Move along.
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I was thinking more about the 'flames' part.Chestnuts roasting on an open fire indeed."Sliding down your chimney" is clearly a euthemism
there was a picture here
It might just take 7 seconds instead of 7 days for Santa to revive.
Different source. Click the text as it is a link to a yahoo article that probably got it from the AP which probably got it from someplace else.
I was under the impression that Santa was magic and could stop time allowing him to deliver all the presents in an hour. I mean, in his time, it could take him weeks, but to us, it's only an hour. That's the way it was explained to me. And I never had a chimney, so he used the front door. He had a skeleton key. And whenever I questioned Santa's plausibility, my mother would compare it to the existance of God which, I guess in hindsight, was a bad move on her part. It would have probably been wiser for her to say, "You're right. There's no Santa."
Not that I don't believe in any form of god. I'm just not even close to the relgion she raised me (or any other known religion, for that matter).
Yeah. Thanks to that, we're going to have right wing Christian conservatives try to change, "Don we now our gay apparel" to "Let's put on some Christmas clothes." Once you start banning things because they're offensive, you're on a slippery slope.
he doesnt stop timeI was under the impression that Santa was magic and could stop time allowing him to deliver all the presents in an hour. I mean, in his time, it could take him weeks, but to us, it's only an hour. That's the way it was explained to me. And I never had a chimney, so he used the front door. He had a skeleton key. And whenever I questioned Santa's plausibility, my mother would compare it to the existance of God which, I guess in hindsight, was a bad move on her part. It would have probably been wiser for her to say, "You're right. There's no Santa."
Not that I don't believe in any form of god. I'm just not even close to the relgion she raised me (or any other known religion, for that matter).
Yeah. Thanks to that, we're going to have right wing Christian conservatives try to change, "Don we now our gay apparel" to "Let's put on some Christmas clothes." Once you start banning things because they're offensive, you're on a slippery slope... he just carries a nanoscale black hole that alters perception of time to outsiders
Maybe Santa tears the Space time continuum a new spacehole.
Yes, and I saw him at the mall just this afternoonThis is impossible! Santa's on TV right now
No no no. Santa doesn't have the time to go to all the malls and the TV studios so he sends look alikes to find out what everyone wants, and send his best wishes.Yes, and I saw him at the mall just this afternoonThis is impossible! Santa's on TV right now
I have found the proof!
A Cal-Poly Engineer's Anti-Santa Prrof
"They said this day would never come. They said our sights were set too high. They said this country was too divided, too disillusioned to ever come around a common purpose. But on this January night, at this defining moment in history, you have done what the cynics said we couldn't do." - Barack Obama.
clicky clicky clicky
Ugh that Article doesn't know anything
Santa can clearly stop time. Therefore he has as much time as he needs and can go back to refill his presents all he wants.
Santa does not follow simple human laws or logic like some silly mortal. Instead, he has his own general set of rules and regulations in which he must follow. These include his ability to be in more than one place at one time (up to an infinite number of possible locations) and his ability to travel faster than the speed of light, sound, or Superman. He also cannot be killed due to his super regenetive abilities that are greater than even Wolverine's. He is not effected by human weather conditions and is not confined to one specific body type. In fact, he can become any shape or size he wants to because he is Santa. Santa's possessions, most notably his reindeer and Santa Bag of Goodies, are also not confined to mere mortal laws. In fact, Santa's Reindeer are even be more powerful than the "man" himself. The only reason they follow him and work for him is because of some agreement they struck with Mrs. Claus before their Wedding. No such other information exists in this dimension or any other known dimensions (which Santa occasionally visits) on the nature of this bargin. Santa's Bag is most easily explained as "The much bigger brother of the common Bag of Holding found in many Dungeons and Dragons campaigns" (which Santa is a big fan of, he plays a level 70 Moon Elf Mohawk).
The source of all this information is "The Big Book of Santa" by F. C. and published by K. K. Inc.
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