Quote Originally Posted by Griff View Post
(A old man in a lab coat walks out)

Director: Hojo? What are you doing here?
Hojo: I've trained a monkey to talk and act human, it could be used for your production.
Director: Why would you train a monkey to talk?
Hojo: I was originally going to train it to write after the whole fiasco that was the storyline of FF7, thinking that it could do a better job, but it turns out its easier to learn english than to write a convincing plot for a Japanese RPG...
Director:Fine, give him a shot.

(Monkey walks onto the stage)

Monkey: Ooo, soft.

Director: That's brilliant! You're hired. What's your name.
Monkey: Zidane.
Director: Well Zidane, you've got talent. Stick with me and I guarentee you will be a star.
Win.

Director: Okay Sephiroth, what you're gonna do is drop down using this harness and that sword of yours is gonna retract into the hilt when you hit Aeris in the back. Then we're gonna have special effects animate a sword coming through her (he signals round to Aeris' belly; Aeris grins)

Aeris: With no blood

Director: Indeed, with no blood And you guys just carry on acting it as rehearsed, okay?

Sephiroth: Cool beans.

Director: Alright! Silence on set! Seph, you in position?

(Sephiroth waves)

Director: Roll camera! Aeris' death, shot five, take one. Aaand... action!

(Sephiroth drops down, hits Aeris in the back, she writhes in pain for a moment.)

Director: Cut! That was fantastic! That's a wrap on the first disc, folks!

Later, in the cutting room...

Editor: Who the hell forgot to get Sephiroth to wear his gloves!?

----------------------------

Kid in Kilika: I'm gonna be a Blitzball when I grow up!

Director: Cut!

Cameraman: Uh, we're all out of film.

Director: Crap. We'll just have to go with that.