I should not be allowed to reproduce, if I did my baby would have the sarcasm of a Jaded sales consultant by the time he was in kindergarten, also he would be able to fly... and probably be born riding a motorcycle, most likely to the great disdain of the mother, who would be ridiculously hot, probably someone like Selma Hyack. He would be able to play Eruption on a guitar by the time he was six months old.

He would write a great book and Morgan Freeman would probably be his God Father. He would be a better action hero than Bruce Willis and Samuel L Jackson mixed together with a dash of Clint Eastwood. He would probably cure AIDS and his graduation speech would stop racism. He would probably take a year off after graduation and become the new prince of Bel-Air. Also he would have a natural taste for smooth Jazz.

There is more… so in other words he would be almost as awesome as me.