Shoes have a habit of breaking all on the sides.
Shoe strings rip.
Pants get loose.
Sewing needles for some reason glide through my skin before I register pain.
Gel won't friggin stick ugh
I wanna blame the tables and door knobs but it's my fault. I walk and glide right into one and fall over and die. Blech
Chargers for my phone. They run away, or break and leave me crying on the floor.

Or it could just be a huge coincidence....