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Thread: Math Humor!

  1. #16
    Back of the net Recognized Member Heath's Avatar
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    I love the Proof that Girls are Evil one that Mullet posted. I was going to post that one!
    Not my words Carol, the words of Top Gear magazine.

  2. #17
    Mold Anus Old Manus's Avatar
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    Can it be chemistry jokes tiem nao?

    I only have a GCSE in chemistry so this is as far as I will understand. Physics represent!


    there was a picture here

  3. #18
    Steiner is God Vivisteiner's Avatar
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    Why do things have mass?

    Because of Higgs boson.


    What happens when you move one entangled photon?

    Another one moves, even if its millions of miles away.

    Whats the difference between matter and energy?

    Nothing, tbh.

    How much of a physicists brain is made of empty space?

    Almost all of it.

    Whats the fourth dimension?

    Time

    How many times does an electron spin round to reach its starting place?

    Twice


    ....


    Wait a sec, these arent jokes. They're true!

    "They said this day would never come. They said our sights were set too high. They said this country was too divided, too disillusioned to ever come around a common purpose. But on this January night, at this defining moment in history, you have done what the cynics said we couldn't do." - Barack Obama.
    clicky clicky clicky

  4. #19
    Back of the net Recognized Member Heath's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Old Manus View Post
    I only have a GCSE in chemistry so this is as far as I will understand. Physics represent!
    Nicked this one from the Internet. I've heard it before and was surprised to find it online.

    A guy is given a question on a physics test:

    "You are given an accurate barometer, how would you use it to determine the height of a skyscraper?"

    He answered: "Go to the top floor, tie a long piece of string to the barometer, let it down 'till it touches the ground and measure the length of the string".

    The examiner wasn't satisfied, so they decided to interview the guy:

    "Can you give us another method, one which demonstrates your knowledge of Physics ?"

    "Sure, go to the top floor, drop the barometer off, and measure how long before it hits the ground......"

    "Not, quite what we wanted, care to try again ?"

    "Make a pendulum of the barometer, measure its period at the bottom, then measure its period at the top......"

    "..another try ?...."

    "Measure the length of the barometer, then mount it vertically on the ground on a sunny day and measure its shadow, measure the shadow of the skyscraper....."

    "....and again ?...."

    "walk up the stairs and use the barometer as a ruler to measure the height of the walls in the stairwells."

    "...One more try ?"

    "Find where the janitor lives, knock on his door and say 'Please, Mr Janitor, if I give you this nice Barometer, will you tell me the height of this building ?"
    Not my words Carol, the words of Top Gear magazine.

  5. #20
    What You Say? Recognized Member BG-57's Avatar
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    My favorite math joke ever:


    I also once saw a T-shirt that read:

    2 + 2 = 5 (for sufficiently large values of 2)

  6. #21
    Draw the Drapes Recognized Member rubah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vivisteiner View Post
    Wait a sec, these arent jokes. They're true!
    i was about to say xD

    @BG-57; "miracle" describes a lot of what happens in calculus, imo

  7. #22
    Fragaria addict Recognized Member Momiji's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by o_O View Post
    Why do mathematicians have trouble telling the difference between Christmas and Halloween?

    Because 25 Dec = 31 Oct.
    [/QUOTE]

    As soon as I saw this thread, I remembered that joke since it used to be in your sig.

  8. #23
    Recognized Member Jessweeee♪'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Mullet View Post
    I saw Jessweeee♪'s response as a bad pun response.
    Thank you for capitalizing the J, putting exactly two Ss and four Es, and including the note!

    No one's done that in awhile ;_;!

  9. #24
    I'm selling these fine leather jackets Aerith's Knight's Avatar
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    I have no idea how to put in the note.. so youll have to excuse me.

    and you guys say AK anyway.


  10. #25
    That's me! blackmage_nuke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Mullet View Post
    My favorite is the proof that girls are evil:
    As someone else (probably on this forum) has commented. If its time and money shouldnt it be time + money?

    Edit:
    Last edited by blackmage_nuke; 04-11-2008 at 02:56 PM.
    Kefka's coming, look intimidating!
    Have a nice day!!

  11. #26
    Recognized Member Jessweeee♪'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aerith's Knight View Post
    I have no idea how to put in the note.. so youll have to excuse me.

    and you guys say AK anyway.
    Aw it's fine. I'm just sad that it says Baby Jasweeee by my Wii friend code D:

  12. #27
    Steiner is God Vivisteiner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Mullet View Post
    As someone else (probably on this forum) has commented. If its time and money shouldnt it be time + money?
    Its maths. And we all know mathematicians just do what they damn well please so that they get the answer they feel like seeing.



    "They said this day would never come. They said our sights were set too high. They said this country was too divided, too disillusioned to ever come around a common purpose. But on this January night, at this defining moment in history, you have done what the cynics said we couldn't do." - Barack Obama.
    clicky clicky clicky

  13. #28
    Old school, like an old fool. Flying Mullet's Avatar
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    Figaro Castle

  14. #29
    I'm selling these fine leather jackets Aerith's Knight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vivisteiner View Post
    Why do things have mass?

    Because of Higgs boson.


    What happens when you move one entangled photon?

    Another one moves, even if its millions of miles away.

    Whats the difference between matter and energy?

    Nothing, tbh.

    How much of Vivisteiner's brain is made of empty space?

    Almost all of it.

    Whats the fourth dimension?

    Time

    How many times does an electron spin round to reach its starting place?

    Twice


    ....


    Wait a sec, these arent jokes. They're true!


  15. #30
    Steiner is God Vivisteiner's Avatar
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    ^That wasnt funny. It's true.

    If you're so clever, care to tell me why?

    And if you're even cleverer, explain the answer to my last question.

    "They said this day would never come. They said our sights were set too high. They said this country was too divided, too disillusioned to ever come around a common purpose. But on this January night, at this defining moment in history, you have done what the cynics said we couldn't do." - Barack Obama.
    clicky clicky clicky

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