Stop picking on me!Originally Posted by Rye
Stop picking on me!
Most of my friends are guys, and I know that they don't lie continously to their lady friends to keep them happy. I know of many of relationships that have been broken down due to lies, including one of my own. Like Roto said, those in a relationship built on lies are on the road to failure - in the end, most lies will be caught out. Nobody likes a liar.Obviously you have no idea just how much guys lie in that case. We lie constantly. About almost everything. It just makes our lives easier to just lie all the time. In my experience being completely honest, as this topic illustrates quite nicely, is not what women in general want.
I don't understand this, either. Seriously, it's the past. The past is not the present. Who cares? They've liked another girl. They've had sex with another girl. Why care? The past is the past, at the end of the day they're with you now. I don't think I'd like it if somebody kept their past from me.
Last edited by Jess; 05-05-2008 at 12:56 AM. Reason: :d
Ok, let me try to explain this. I'm not talking about lies like "I didn't have sex with her", none of the biggies like that. What I mean are the smaller white lies we tell to keep the peace. Here are some examples forthwith;
"Of course I don't find her attractive"
"Those shoes look nice on you"
"Sure, I'd prefer going to a restaurant too"
"I don't look at porn"
etc. etc.
There is no signature here. Move along.
What if the shoes did look nice on her?
Is it bad that I'd prefer the truth?Ok, let me try to explain this. I'm not talking about lies like "I didn't have sex with her", none of the biggies like that. What I mean are the smaller white lies we tell to keep the peace. Here are some examples forthwith;
"Of course I don't find her attractive"
"Those shoes look nice on you"
"Sure, I'd prefer going to a restaurant too"
"I don't look at porn"
etc. etc.
"Of course I don't find her attractive" ("Yes, she's hot!" I'd agree if I found her attractive, if not: OH NO YOU FIND ANOTHER GIRL ATTRACTIVE, LETS BREAK UP :rolleyes2)
"I don't like those shoes" (If I like them, tough- I'll wear them when I want, where I want.. If I dont - good! I never have to wear them again (although it's unlikely I'd buy a pair of shoes I didn't like.
))
"I'd prefer this restaurant" (Okay, lets try there then. Seeing as I would have said "I don't mind where we go" anyway, as I'm not picky! Seriously. I'm the most annoying person in the world for "I don't mind!" - ask Paul xDD)
"I don't look at porn" (Oh, please. Do I even need to go into it here? Every guy, if not every girl has looked at porn in their lives.)
Honesty is the best policy IMO, but I also know girls (and guys, actually) in which they would be hurt if you said any of the above to them, so I do see your point; I'm not saying that every girl would like the same, but personally I prefer truth over any lie.
Last edited by Jess; 05-05-2008 at 02:19 AM.
Yes, lets all follow Jess's 4-step guide to a break-up.
What the smurf are you talking about, dude? So... if you tell the truth you're instantly doomed to a break-up? Seriously, elaborate.
I did clarify that I would personally prefer those things, and that others may not.
I agree with Jess.
My dad has always said, if the women you want to marry doesn't want the truth she's a bitch.
Translating that into English (my father needs a translator xD), he's saying, "If a woman doesn't want you for what you really think, she doesn't actually love you."
I agree with that. Sometimes my mom doesn't like the truth my dad gives, but that doesn't mean she doesn't just put up with it, a sign of actual love and companionship.
He must lie about pretty serious things then, for the truth to result in a break up.
My boyfriend knows I have a zero tolerance lying or "hiding the truth" rule. If I ask him if something looks okay and he doesn't give me an answer that I feel is truthful, I'll hound him until he does so.
When we first got together, one of the first things he did was sit me down and tell me about all his past girlfriends, who they were, where they lived, when they met, what they did sexually, their personalities, their bodies, everything, completely on his own will, and that's because he knows that in any relationship truth is a number one priority.
The other day I was looking at Maternity clothes and found a like.. bright pink fade to bright orange top that I wanted an opinion on. At first he looks at it and goes "It's too bright", one of the lady workers came by and asked how we were doing and we said we were fine and then she walked off. I went to put the shirt back and then asked him again, how he really felt because he knows I knew he wasn't telling the full truth.
Then he says "When you're like 9 months pregnant, you're gonna look like a mango in that shirt."
Granted, it's not the kindest thing, either way I got a laugh and the truth so I was content.
I usually let him pick out almost all of my clothes because if you can lie about something as stupid as a shirt looking bad then what else could you lie about?
I'm happier with the truth, especially if someone's lying to me to appease me. I lose respect for people who lie to protect my feelings, I don't protect theirs, why should they protect mine?
Oh my god, this thread is hilarious. I don't consider myself much of a feminist, but even I'm in pain at some of the stuff guys are saying in here, and the opinions. If any of you complain about being single again, and wonder why? Read this thread over, and over, and over, and I'll giggle and wiggle my toes in amusement.
So if a gf asks: Is my ass fat?
I should say: well, yeah.. but i dont mind.
saying the truth all the time is just stupid, as girls dont always want to hear the truth.. however you may think about it.
The better thing to say would be "yeah, your butt IS big, but you know what? I love your big butt, it makes you even sexier." That's what made ME feel better, anyway.So if a gf asks: Is my ass fat?
I should say: well, yeah.. but i dont mind.
saying the truth all the time is just stupid, as girls dont always want to hear the truth.. however you may think about it.
ALSO, ALWAYS tell the truth. Don't listen to all the dumbasses who are saying "you have to lie to your girl to make her feel better" or "telling the truth all the time is dumb." If she breaks up with you over the truth, that's her loss. It hurts WAY more to find out someone lied to you than to find out the truth first hand because...well, like someone (I forget who) said, "if you can lie about something small (ex. watching porn, why your status on facebook says you're broken up when you have a girlfriend, etc), then what else could you be lying about?" Every girl has the right to be suspicious if she thinks you're lying and you have a history of lying-even if they're only little white lies. Give someone an inch and they'll take a mile.
Also, keep in mind that even if you do choose to lie to your girl and it seems like she believes you, deep down, she might still have that small feeling that you're lying and if she finds out her gut was right and giving you the benefit of the doubt was a mistake, she'll be hurt, pissed, confused, and trust will be lost (what the lie is about and why you thought it was okay to lie to her in the first place are factors in how much trust is lost.) She may begin to question everything you say, even though she may not say so out loud.
Speaking from personal experience here, btw. Some people may call me paranoid or too suspicious but I've had my fair share of lying boyfriends in the past, and I do NOT deal kindly with it, even if it's a little white lie.
See, the reason why it's better to tell the truth now is because we can get over it faster. If you lie, it takes a LOT longer to get over, and I'm sure what I said above highlights why. Loss of trust can really, truly damage a relationship. DON'T MAKE THAT MISTAKE.
EDIT: Also, it's like I said before. It's not that we don't want to hear the truth. We just want to feel like someone holds us above all others, we want someone to make us feel special, loved, cared for. If you make it sound like we're just another girl, like we're easily replaced, like you wish we were someone else, or that you wish you could smurf someone else even though you're with us, we hurt. We hurt a lot. Why? We're emotional little things who strive on love, affection, truth, and all that good stuff.
We know you look at other girls, we know you think they're hot. Do you think we're hotter? Are you glad you're with us and not them? Do you really feel proud of our relationship? You should say "yes" to all of the above, and if you can't, re-evaluate how you feel about the person you're with and what your relationship means to you. Re-evaluate why you're with that person. The best way I can put this is: Your girlfriend is supposed to be your #1 girl no matter what. She comes first above all other girls (aside from family, maybe), she is the most beautiful, sexy, hot, and attractive girl in the world, no other girl will ever compare. This is the number one rule that you must follow.
If you don't feel this way, you don't have a very successful relationship. She puts you first, what's wrong with putting her first?
Last edited by ~*~Celes~*~; 05-05-2008 at 03:30 AM.
dont get me wrong, id speak the truth if it was important
funny though, that every girl here says to always speak the truth, but when i look at reality, at how everytime i slip up and speak the truth on those insignificant and stupid things, they get mad.
Its so contradictive it makes me smile
I really dont think any guys in here should take advice from a girl.. guys can give advice out of experience.. but girls..
It's how you say it of course.. you can twist the truth to something funny or flattering.. but most often girls really dont want to be reminded of their flaws.. at least in my experience..
of course, you can strike gold and end up with a girl that thinks like those that respond in here, if so, well done.
As a guy, this is my advice.I really dont think any guys in here should take advice from a girl.. guys can give advice out of experience..
Ask her to meet up with you - sound apologetic - and go for a drive in your car because you have a surprise for her. Drive to a secluded spot, grab her by the hair and tell her what a stupid whore she's been. Ram her face into the windshield as hard as you possibly can, and check to see if she has been knocked out. If not, repeat until she has. Next, point the car at something hard, like a wall. Get out, place a brick onto the accelerator, wait for it to crash. Clamber back in, and hopefully she is dead. If not, you're probably going to have to crack her skull open with the brick. Next, smash your face on the front of the car hard enough to break your nose but not knock you out, take your brick, climb back out, call the emergency services and celebrate the perfect murder.
Because I am a guy, my advice is much more sound than the advice of girls like Jess or Miriel so you should probably do it.
Psy, even if that is a joke, that is absolutely terrible.
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