No, I definitely relate with you there. While I think a lot of teachers don't know how to deal with kids with special needs, I think a lot of these kids are made worse by coddling parents and kids, and I've only been proven right by examples:
1) My brother was thought to be autistic as a child. His teacher would tell him he only had to do a small amount of the work and he could sit around in school, because of his problems and his medication, but my Mom would make my brother do all of his work. She told the teachers "My son is going to do ALL of the work. He's going to learn." And while he does still have social problems and some speech ones, he's worlds better. He's on Honor Roll and everything.
2) The girl I tutor has ADHD and some other problems, one that remind me a bit of my brother's when he was young, though hers are more with concentration, rather than socialization, because she talks fine. However, her Mom lets her get away with ANYTHING. Her teachers only give her partial work. When she acts up, her Mom is like "____, IF YOU DON'T STOP, YOU CAN'T GO TO YOUR BASKETBALL GAME" but never keeps up her threats. So now, her daughter is academically incapable of pretty much anything, her Mom and I basically do her work for her, and it's pathetic.
So that's why, unless someone's child is genuinely mentally retarded/autistic, I don't think they should be given only partially the work. They should not get huge exceptions.