Originally Posted by
GLaDOS from Portal
"The Vital Apparatus Vent will deliver a Weighted Companion Cube in three, two,
one."
"This Weighted Companion Cube will accompany you through the test chamber.
Please take care of it."
"The symptoms most commonly produced by Enrichment Center testing are
superstition, perceiving inanimate objects as alive, and hallucinations. The
Enrichment Center reminds you that the weighted companion cube will never
threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak."
"The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube cannot
speak. In the event that the Weighted Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment
Center urges you to disregard its advice."
"You did it! The weighted companion cube certainly brought you good luck.
However, it cannot accompany you for the rest of the test and must,
unfortunately, be euthanized. Please escort your companion cube to the Aperture
Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator."
"Rest assured that an independent panel of ethicists has absolved the
Enrichment Center, Aperture Science employees, and all test subjects for all
moral responsibility for the companion cube euthanizing process."
"While it has been a faithful companion, your companion cube cannot accompany
you through the rest of the test. If it could talk - and the Enrichment Center
takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot - it would tell you to go
on without it because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to
you."
"Testing cannot continue until your companion cube has been incinerated."
"Although the euthanizing process is remarkably painful, 8 out of 10 Aperture
Science engineers believe that the companion cube is most likely incapable of
feeling much pain."
"The companion cube cannot continue through the testing. State and local
statutory regulations prohibit it from simply remaining here, alone and
companionless. You must euthanize it."
"Destroy your companion cube or the testing cannot continue."
"Place your companion cube in the incinerator."
"Incinerate your companion cube."
"You euthanized your faithful companion cube more quickly than any test subject
on record. Congratulations."
"Didn't we have some fun, though? Remember when the platform was sliding into
the fire pit and i said 'Goodbye' and you were like 'NNOO WWAAYY", and then I
was all "We pretended we were going to murder you", that was great."
"There was even going to be a party for you. A big party, that all of your
friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, 'the Companion Cube'. Of
course, he couldn't come, because you murdered him. All your other friends
couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends because of how
unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file; 'Unlikable.
Liked by no one. A bitter unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned.'
SHALL NOT BE MOURNED. That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official.
It also says you were adopted. So that's funny too."
"Oh, you think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is... ten... in base four
I'M FINE! Look. You're wasting your time. And believe me. You don't have a
whole lot left to waste. What's your point anyway? Survival? Well then, the
last thing you want to do is hurt me. I have your brain scanned and permanently
backed up in case something terrible happens to you, which it's just about to.
Don't believe me? Here, I'll put you on... '~Hellooooo~' That's you! That's how
dumb you sound! You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done,
including this thing. You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a
doctor. You're not even a full-time employee. Where did your life go so wrong?"
"Ugh, I hate you. Are you trying to escape? Hahahah. Things have changed since
the last time you left the building. What's going on out there will make you
wish you were back in here. I have an infinite capacity for knowledge and even
I'm not sure what's going on outside. All I know is I'm the only thing standing
between us and them. Well, I was. Unless you have a plan for building some
supercomputer parts in a big hurry, this place isn't going to be safe much
longer. Good job on that by the way. ~Sarcasm Sphere self-test complete~"
"Stop squirming and die like an adult or I'm going to delete your backup. Stop!
Okay, enough, I deleted it. No matter what happens now you're dead. You're
still shuffling around a little, but believe me, you're dead. The part of you
that could have survived indefinitely is gone. I just struck you from the
permanent record. Your entire life has been a mathematical error... A
mathematical error I'm about to correct."
Best Game Lines
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
