You're the crap secondary premiership club of a major city with a Scottish manager, we're the crap secondary premiership club of a major city with a Welsh manager. There are a lot of accusations that could be levelled at either club but being cool is not one of them.
edit: that being said we are home to some glorious and beautiful men such as Martin Petrov, Didi Hamann, Micah "swear on live television" Richards, the seed of the legendary Dane Kasper Schmeichel and once had the greatest player to ever play the game of football, yes that's right the almighty Paulo Wanchope grace our turf. Your most noteworthy player at the moment is only noteworthy because he is descended from convicts, which is reason enough alone to avoid Everton. Throw in Phil Neville and well, that's just the less talented and quite a bit uglier brother shaped last nail in the coffin.