well firstly,
"Right and wrong are not what separate us and our enemies. It's our different standpoints, our perspectives that separate us. Both sides blame one another. There's no good or bad side. Just 2 sides holding different views."
Squall FFVIII

Nietzsche
"He who has a why to live for can bear for almost any how."
Affectus qui passio est, desinit esse passio simulatque eius claram et distinctam fomanmus ideam emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it

Fry (futurama): Don't worry, not everyone turns out like their parents. Take me for example, my parents were honest, hardworking people.

then some random ones
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top

Of course I have my own agenda... what other reason is there to do anything?

Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth- more than ruin, more even than death
~Bertand Russell, "Selected Papers"

be braver, you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps

All men are mortal, Socrates was mortal, therefore all men are Socrates!

It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick something from the floor when you get up

Murphy's Eigth Law
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously over looked something

The one good thing about repeating your mistakes is you know when to cringe

Matter cannot be created or destroyed nor can it be returned without a receipt

Conway's Law:
In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.

Assuming that either the left wing or the right wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

Do to the other fellow as he would do unto you. But for God’s sake do it first!

It’s not an optical illusion it just looks like it

People need good lies; there are too many bad ones.
All of the true things I am about to tell you are all shameless lies
Don’t tell big lies, small lies can be just as effective

Great leaders are so rare, so I’m following myself

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong
Yes, but every time I try to see things your way, I get a headache.

If you sit down at a poker game and don’t see a sucker, get up. You’re the sucker

I don't have a solution... but I certainly admire the problem.

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person

And of course my new favorite....(In my signature)

THE JACKEL