Epic quotes, which is your favorite?

[Nice]

"There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore." -- Stewie

Peter: (Walks out of the bathroom and wanders into another room. He walks into the room and walks behind the bed. We find out that this is Chris' room.) Hey, you still awake, Lois honey? (Peter lays down into Chris' bed.)
Chris: Dad?
Peter: That's right, I'm your daddy. Shh, Shh, Shh, Shh. Don't talk, Lois, don't talk. Just let me do all the work. Yeah...now feel my warm breath on the nape of your neck. My hands on your big soft boobs...running down your big man-like chest. (Peter jumps up.) Holy crap, It's Chris!! Uhh...Uhh...So, uhh...How ya doin'? You do all your homework?
Chris: (nods his head.)
Peter: Finish all your subjects?
Chris: Yes, sir.
Peter: Good, just uhh, just checkin'. (Backs towards the door.) Have a good night son. (Walks down the hall.)
Peter: You still awake honey?
Stewie: What the deuce?

[Brock Samson has torn off an animated statue's arm and is now beating him with it]
Hank Venture: Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!

Edit ~ Btw the potato chip scene from Death Note was hilarious.

[Citizen Bleys]

Stephen R Donaldson writes a lot of awesome quotes:

"Dreams never forgive" ~Thomas Covenant

"Futility is the defining characteristic of life. Pain is proof of existence" ~Thomas Covenant

"There's only one way to hurt a man who's lost everything. Give him back something broken" ~Thomas Covenant

"When you've tried all the salves in the world and they don't work, you start thinking about fire" ~Thomas Covenant

"This is the grace that has been given to you--to bear what must be borne" ~Ak-haru Kenaustin Ardenol

[Vermachtnis]

Chris: I can't believe you choked on an M&M.
Andrew: That's why you don't run with food in mouth.
Me: So that's why you don't run with scissors.
Chris: Huh?
Me: You don't wanna choke on scissors.

"It's not cute, so I don't care." ~ Pamela

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. " ~ Dunno, attributed to Dr. Seuss sometimes.

[Citizen Bleys]

Conversation with Unne:
Citizen Bleys: We had a frontline agent download himself a virus.
Citizen Bleys: We told him, "If you're running XP, you should have some kind of antivirus program."
Citizen Bleys: so he went on KaZaA and searched for "virus program"
Citizen Bleys: and downloaded the first thing that came up
Citizen Bleys: Can you say "IT Darwin Award?"
Unne: Don't make me cry.
Citizen Bleys: Just think, old people call this man for computer help.
Unne: OK I'm crying, thanks a lot.

-- later --
Unne: If I had a choice of another call center job or being a horse rectum inspector, I'd gladly take the rectums.

[I Took the Red Pill]

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." - Henry David Thoreau

"The priests of the different religious sects dread the advance of science as witches do the approach of daylight, and scowl on the fatal harbinger announcing the subdivision of the duperies on which they live." - Thomas Jefferson

"When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky" - Buddha

[Mittopotahis]

I like the quotes Roto said. =)

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." - Winston Churchill

"Carve you blessings in stone. Write your sorrows in the sand." - I dunno.

[Blue Harvest]

There's this one from Maxx:

Everyone knows that all the guys on this forum must act super gay towards each other constantly and never, ever engage in anything remotely sexual with female members unless they've sufficiently harassed them on MSN for several months.


And this is by far the funniest thing I've heard for a while:

If a tree falls in the forest, and I'm not there, and it makes a sound, but I don't hear it, but someone records it and plays it to me at a dinner party, does that mean I'm still in the forest? And if I am, then why can't I take a piss in the garden instead of queuing for the toilet? And that's if the toilet even exists I've been trying to use it all smurfing night. I'm starting to doubt the existence of the toilet quite frankly at this stage in the proceedings ~ Dean Learner (Richard Ayoade)

[Bunny]

"I tire so of hearing people say,
‘Let things take their course.
Tomorrow is another day.’
I do not need my freedom when I’m dead.
I cannot live on tomorrow’s bread." ~ Langston Hughes

"A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing." ~ Oscar Wilde

"I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?" ~ Ernest Hemingway

[Rye]

"One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but cannot be taken away unless it is surrendered."

This is one of my favorite quotes, because my biggest fear in the world is to lose my dignity while I am alive.

[NeoTifa]

"i did not have sexual relations with that woman, monica lewinsky"

[Værn]

Is it dead?

[Jessweeee♪]

"I'll take a potato chip, AND EAT IT!"
-Yagami Light
That quote made Death Note the only series to make chips epic. How about your favorite quote? Was it funny, powerful, wise, or just plain epic? Discuss.

Yes, the English dub made me laugh so much xD
I also liked the "I just wanted to tell you IamL." line.

The Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow silloquy from Macbeth was pretty neat...there's also countless GLaDOS quotes I could list here (one of my favorites is "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE").

[Momiji]

...there's also countless GLaDOS quotes I could list here (one of my favorites is "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE").

"I'd just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed. There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, the companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikable you are. It says so here in your personnel file: Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. 'Shall not be mourned.' That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted. So that's funny, too."

[MadeOfApples]

"How's this for a headline? 'French Fries'" - James French's famous last words before being executed by electric chair.

And of course.

Princess Leia: "I love you."
Han Solo: "I know."

"This tasteless cover is a good indication of the lack of musical invention within. The musical growth of this band cannot even be charted. They are treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry." - Spinal Tap

Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported. - David St. Hubbins (From Spinal Tap)

[The Summoner of Leviathan]

"The sun, the moon and the stars would have disappeared long ago... had they happened to be within the reach of predatory human hands." -Henry Ellis

"Ideen sind zollfrei" ("Ideas cannot be kept out by the imposition of tariffs.") -Bismarck

"Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor." -a pirate from St. Augustine's City of God

"Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood." -Gandhi

"Dance as though no one is watching
Love as though you've never been hurt
Sing as though no one can hear you
Live as though heaven is on earth."
-Alfred D'Souza