Originally Posted by
Levian
Veterans are stupid, I don't like them. I hope they die.
Cizz
Is like an obnoxious neighbour you hate to love to love to hate. He doesn't wipe his feet before entering your house, he doesn't clean up after himself and his socks are never clean. Once you reported him to the police for harassing your wife, sexually, with a kite, but they didn't have enough resources to follow up on it. Cz sometimes thinks he's a velociraptor, shown by his piercing scream before he attacks, he refused to cut his nails in 6 months as he likes those clacking sounds raptors make when they're trying to find your hiding place. If Cz doesn't win this award we might have to put him to sleep before he gets aggressive.
Goldenprick
Gobo has enormous front teeth. The only things he buys in the store are nuts and carrots. If Gobo had to choose between nuts and carrots, he would cheat on his wife, call her a fat slut and yell in her ear never to make him choose between either of them again. Gobo claims to have invented the color Gurple, which isn't even a colour. It's just purple with glitter on it. I'm sorry, Gobo, but it's really not a colour.
Huxley Panettiere
Hux tried to kill me once. You know how cats can kill babies by breathing in all the oxygen around them? That's actually exactly what Hux does. I accidentally touched his shoulder once, and he went nuts and started hyperventilating in my face trying to suck up all my oxygen. It was a smurfing close call, and I just barely made it. Just a heads up to you all. He's smurfing mental.
Pure Gepetto
PG is a funeral entertainer. He always found funerals so damned predictable, everyone knows what's going to happen. There's flowers with kind words, some old skank singing Amazing Grace off key and absolutely no sherades. Not on PG's watch there ain't! Flowers are out, balloons are in. Black balloons, of course. Anything else would be tacky. Shut up, Boko. There won't be Gurple balloons. Why not finish it all off with a poem on the balloon too?
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Your face is molding
But you haven't got a clue
Have a happy funeral, love from the craaaaazy gang at the office. <3
Quin
Quin is a prostitute in my bed, Quin is a prostitute in my bed, Quin is a prostitute in my bed! Hey... it didn't work!And I knocked my heels together three times and everything. Quin vanishes for several months at a time, presumably to collect specimen from public restrooms in Las Vegas trying to produce the antidote for the terrible rash on his penis. Good luck with that! I should probably mention the name Harle in this last sentence.
Sagensyg
Sagensyg can burn in hell for all I care.
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