So it has come to this, gentlemen of the forums. The Best Female award. This is the award we always have to offer our female members so they won't realise we're only nominating and voting for males in almost all the other categories. We'll often have one or two other female awards if a lot of them are menstruating and surly, but this one is permanent. This one we need to stick with, in order to keep up appearances. At least until the great forum purge 2010, but let's keep discussion of that to the male forum for now. (Mark up this paragraph as male-only, won't you Award "Girl"? Thank you.)
Well now ladies and gentlemen! It's time for the Best Female award, one of these forums'?if I may say so myself?proudest moments! Isn't it great, fellow members, that our forum is so modern and radical as to give equal space to all members, regardless of gender? I love females, myself! I mean, who makes better food than women? And some of them are great in bed. Another thing I like about women is, uh... Well, flowers makes everything okay, right? Don't know how I'd manage without 'em.
So, er, what I mean to say is, keep on bleeding from your crotches, girls! We love it when you do! But for now, let's see who the nominees are this time around!
Lekana who is up to something fishy
Lekana is a well-liked girl around these parts, that's for sure. Although she is a ninja extraordinaire and licensed jackrabbit killer, she is an all around nice member who makes friends all over the place. She keeps abreast with the times and never hesitates to get things off her chest. She's also a prominent Mafia player, and we all know the mob sticks together, unless they want their spaghetti poisoned.
Here are some things Lekana can be expected to say:
Everyone who plays WoW knows, Blood elfs are gay. LISTNE TO THIER JOKES!
That Miriel who acts JUST LIKE A CK
Miriel can always be trusted to step in and verbally smack
down if the
is out of line. She isn't afraid to speak her mind and, let's face it, her opinions are pretty awesome. I've personally been searching for a way to clone Miriel so there is enough of her for everyone (gee, Del Murder, share a little will you?
), but I've come to realise one Miriel is already plenty to go around.
Defining quotes:
Sometimes hot cheetos mess me up though.
Ahahaha, and out pops David Beckham.
rubah who is looking on the bright side
rubah is one of the savviest girls there is, I'm convinced of that. She codes, she maeks the maths, she recites Shakespeare, and lots of geeky stuff like that. She'll be visiting space soon, too. For real, maybe. And she pulls all this off while still managing to grace us with her splendorous presence at the forums. That is some heavy-duty multitasking! Hsu is a most enviable man to have captured this one.
rubah talks like this:
my dogs get very sniffy, so you might want to protect your crotch while you're in the bushes, mari
I wonder if EoFF knows all the things I do to bring them happiness.
well now we know where kari buys her brassieres!
Rye who is uh I'm not sure what she is doing
Signor Hobbes may think he has conquered Rye, but she is still the collective property of the forums. At least that's what we'd all like to think. Rye has been a member since, uh, since she signed up I guess, which is pretty long. She is constantly active and her posts are likely to bring smiles even to the somewhat firm faces of Mt. Rushmore. Back in my bread factory days the manager would always say "More rye! Put more rye in the mix!" and I think that is applicable here, too.
Every Thursday, Rye likes to stand on the roof and sing:
Even with my cute Hello Kitty boxers on my head, my nose still manages to look like a weird penis from that angle.
Prince Ali! Fabulous He! Ali Ababwa!
CHING CHANG CHONG CHOP STICKS POCKY CHINY
AZN FLIED LICE ^_^;;;; NARUTO DBZ MICK ROONEY STEREOTYPE
scrumpleberry who is an immigrant in the 40's
Let me tell you a story about scrumpleberry! She came to England on boat in 1943 with her family. They set up a pasta shop but it got bombed while they were at home. They were very poor so scrumpleberry sold her children and made her husband join the RAF. She bought a nice fur coat with the revenue from the kid affair, took a new name and somehow lived happily on the husband's income ever after. This is why she remains anonymous on these forums, but I know that she's still that woman with a good business sense! Also she's absolutely scrumptious.
That's what
she said:
om,g omg guise we're gonna dye omg im so scarred
I poke my tongue out very quickly at Cextrion...when he isn't looking. I then rub my hands together with glee and eye up the cousins, brothers and sisters whom I haven't seen in years.
LEVEL 1 LAZY QUEST: SLUMP BACK IN A SLOB POSE ON YOUR FAVOURITE CHAIR OR SOFA AND STAY THERE
FOR AN HOUR
DO IT
ShlupQuack who is less intimidating than usual
ShlupQuack is the next scariest thing ever. I have nightmares about ShlupQuack. I'm afraid she will locate me and kill me in my sleep and set my forum theme to Under the Sea. Having said that, ShlupQuack delivers, and anyone who disagrees is free to take it up with herself. I heard the last guy who confronted her came back in an ambulance without an intact sinew in his body.
The last words her victims heard:
But their eyes are so slanty! It's amazing!
Shut up or you're using Fluffy Puff for the rest of your time here.
Originally Posted by Del Murder
Eyeson's Next Cid's Knight was a success in more ways than one. Not only was it a fun and lively competition, but it produced a winner that not many saw coming. In fact, I dare say that the forums staff may have never saw the light on Flying Mullet if it wasn't for this event.
