Day 18: Don't fear the Reaper because the truth is out there



The day starts with Keith hitting on Lekana, but her true love is pretty obvious.



Told you so.



Apparently he now has to pay for hot tub sex. Such is the price of cheating, something Rye would never do.



Andy comes over to leave us a kettle?



He then drops down a barbecue grill and then leaves, all with a vase glued to his back.

I know I say "I don't know what the smurf" a lot when it comes to this thing, but really, I don't know what the smurf.



"PLEASE TELL ME PAUL'S FAVOURITE SEXUAL POSITION". Tactful conversation.



What's all this?



That's not what I think it is, is it?



...Keith?



Keith!



KEITH!

What have you done with him bring him back he's gone what do I do.



Dan and scrumpleberry feel the same way. Oh hey speaking of scrumpleberry.



HERE'S YOUR smurfING PURPLE EYES. HAPPY NOW?



I don't think you should be doing that. I mean, you're probably going to ge-



Yeah see there you go.



It's a pretty impressive Jack Skellington impression though.



scrumpleberry seems to find a man having thousands of volts coursing through his body to be hilarious.



The newest member of the Guado Club. And what do you know, the freak enjoyed it.



scrumpleberry doesn't think it's quite so funny when the house begins to stink of burning flesh.



Still goin'. Wonder where he got that newspaper from.



It's still Awkward Night in the kitchen.



I hire this Lekana-hating old gentleman to fix all of the electrical appliances because I don't want these idiots killing themselves.



Jessweeee does not approve of my choice. Yeah well smurf you, lady, you're dead!



Now there's something you don't see every day.



Wait a minute...Keith? You've dumped his body into our roof?!



Maybe not.



If you were a mime and you wanted to act out the insertion of an anal probe, what position would you take?



Oh my god what have you done to his beautiful face you sick bastards!



It's all too much for Rye who collapses and falls asleep. On the street. In the middle of the night. In her underwear. Let's take bets on how long it takes for her to get raped or sold into slavery!



In other curbside action - somehow Dan and Shlup ARE IN LOVE. Look at the little hearts floating. Don't know how that happened. The second they did fall in love, Lekana attacked Shlup.



Poor Keith. Will ever be the same again?







Rye then gets up, walks inside, and falls asleep, standing up in the bedroom doorframe. This is pretty funny because now Shlup is trapped inside.

Still, at least there's 0% chance of her being molested now.



I spoke too soon.



Psychotic decides he wants to submit his own bid for the Weird Sleeping Places World Title. He likes to call it "Face-down in an omelette".



I notice Rye is starving. As in about to smurfing die starving. So I wake her up and have her order a pizza, which I hope is all for herself.



Apparently the cheese in the pizza was rather effective, because she had to run off to the bathroom, and these two swoop in for the kill. "Bust" indeed.



Keith proves a willing accomplice, keeping Rye pinned down while she desperately tries to punch a way out.



I'm sure I've posted about this before, but flamepants woman obsessively stalks our mailman. It's strange.



I was greatly amused when both Shlup and Lekana's Sims decided thy wanted the last piece of pizza at the same time. Lekana won, of course. It's 3 PM and this is her fourth meal of the day. I have honestly never seen a Sim that eats as much as this one.



A MIRACLE! Yes, this is the first time Dan has ever been called! Are you excited? I know I am!

The man who is calling is one Kennedy Cox, a man frightened by Keith and Jessweeee in the park, and also one of the trio we attempted to drown in the pool.



Psychotic and Lekana have photobooth sex. With ShlupQuack still in the room. It's all class.



Apparently he just wants to bitch about how much he hates recycles and decides Dan's just the man.



Once the deed is done, ShlupQuack gets an action "React to WooHoo" pop up and sprints over. I get excited! What drama will ensue?



She enthusiastically cheers, whoops and applauds. I...how do you respond to something like that?



scrumpleberry decides the kitchen floor would make a nice toilet.



Check out the mini-golf thing I got for the garden. Dan already has a fan.



In real life, of course, he would be shunned from all country clubs.



Shiny! My, you're looking very...orange.



Lekana calls ShlupQuack out into the garden while she fantasises about marrying Dan.

"With you around", she says, "he can never truly be mine."
"Is that...is that a gun?"
"I didn't want things to turn out this way."
"He's yours! You can have him! Just do-"



:shoot:



As ShlupQuack slumps to the floor, Lekana decides the gun would make a great armpit scratcher.



O I die, Horatio.



The cavalry has come! Dan pleads with Death to let Shlup go.



(Typhoon) Tha Reapa agrees, but our hero has to play a game of chance. He has to guess what hand the blue ball is in!



Dan just smurfing beat Death!



"Yeah now what, bitch?"



Wise fwom your gwave!



I don't know whether I want to respond to this one with "WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM!" or "POWER UP!" but somehow "My heeeroooo " seems more appropriate.