my theories about the eoff staff

[Tavrobel]

At risk of sounding unexciting, my theories about the staff are that they're all quite cheerful/approachable/spend way too much time on EoFF.

Naturally, I know NONE of them...

Hi. My name is Tavrobel, and you're going to die in about six seconds.

Six seconds is how long it takes for me to distend my own anus and produce a pocketknife.