Weep.
Clearly, God hates Alaska.
Turn the aircon way up.
Kefka's coming, look intimidating!
Have a nice day!!
A volcano is like, my worst nightmare. Nobody in my family can drive so if there was one around here we'd be pretty much screwed.
If there was a tornado I'd probably hide under the kitchen table. If we had an earthquake (a big one, not that pansy rumble we had last year) then I'd sit in a doorway, stick my head between my legs and kiss my ass goodbye.
The messenger is standing at the gate
Ready to let go
Ready for the crush
Too late for whispers
Too late for the blush
The past is mercy
When the future is aglow
The only thing I can remember is some elderly woman getting her legs roasted
Volcano? I got slightly injured the last time we had one of those. It wasn't that big, though.
Useful tips for volcano survival:
-Breathe through a wet cloth. It'll help to filter the ash.
-Leave the area. Goes without saying.
-If there're lava flows, depart in such a way that you're not going directly downhill from them.
-If there's a lahar danger, avoid rivers and valleys.
-If there's a likelihood of a pyroclastic flow, run as far and as fast as you can because you're probably smurfed.
-If you're using a car, bear in mind that volcanic ash will block the air filters, which is problematic for the passengers but especially risky for the engine.
Volcanoes are generally fairly survivable, as long as you listen to the experts and don't act like a complete idiot. The authorities generally know what they're talking about, so don't ignore official warnings out of some misguided wish to "adhere it to the man" as you kids say.
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