I remember making a conspiracy theory about Loony BoB penetrating a base entitled M.E. (Military Explosion). It was pretty stupid. Let's see if this can do any better.

"A rogue A.I. is stealing people so that it can penetration of Military Explosion by putting them into a computer simulation where they have to track Me to a secret base near Eyes on FF. The mental power thus produced by the captive thinkers allows Loony BoB, in league with the AI, to compromise Rubah allowing Loony BoB to control of the world. "
That didn't quite work.

Edit:

"Isn't it obvious that the Queen has been killed by the CIA and replaced by an agent of Tony Blair who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly the CIA is planning to take over the world when the agent of Tony Blair assassinates David Shayler. The only solution is for the Vietnam Veterans Association to stop the CIA and Tony Blair, which is impossible unless Congress will pass a resolution to allow the public to own main battle tanks. "
Much better!