All in the family

[Jowy]

My mother is a vagrant, she has not had a job or a home of her own in ten years. I haven't spoken to her in two years, I am not even sure if she is still alive.

My father is a drug addict who I am not on speaking terms with and will likely be arrested for voluntary manslaughter if I see him in person again. I have four half-sisters resulted from my father's bigamy, I do not speak with or see any of them. One of them I have never even met. He is entirely responsible for ruining my mother as a person.

My grandmother who raised me after twelve is a compulsive gambler that knows nothing resembling money management or how to properly budget. I have also not seen or spoken with her in two years.

[Mogi]

My dad is ex military and enjoys anything that has to do with controversy or conspiracy. But he's really smart. I live with him.

My mom's a nothing and enjoys lying to people. She works out of home doing this pyramid scam thingy. I haven't talked to her in almost two years.

My sisters think I'm evil because my mom's favourite pass-time is lying. I'm older than both of them. I also have a little brother who is three or four.

I'm really close with my cousins on my mom's side, with whom I lived for about six months when some went down between my mom and I.

Anyone else on my mom's side has shunned me and I don't know anyone else on my dad's side.

Yay for huge family treesornot!

[rubah]

Condensed version!

WALL OF TEXT

oh, rubah

For people with ADHD, my family in bullet point form!

• I'm the eldest of four brothers
• I have 2 parents
• My dad was born in Huddersfield, and his family still live there so I don't know any of them
• My mother was born in Aberystwyth (try pronouncing THAT, amerifags :chef which is in Wales so I sometimes see her family but there's nothing much to talk about as they're all CROESO Y GYMRU nutjobs and I don't know that they're saying
• I was born in Wegberg, Germany. The amount of nazi jokes I had to endure as a child
• Err...
• That's it. I don't know that much about my family

I had about that much typed about one person before I decided to condense it, actually.

[Rye]

I feel like talking a bit more, so some interesting points:

* My grandfather on my father's side came from a long line of Italian carpenters and handy crafty people. My great-grandfather got arrested under Mussolini's reign because he concocted some sort of gun-umbrella, or something of that sort. xD

* My grandfather was a house-flipper back in the 50s and 60s, way before it became in fashion like it is now. He flipped the entire condo that my grandma lived in and that I stayed at when I went to Italy.

* My grandfather on my mother's side was a funny German guy. He married my grandmother when she was 16/17 and he was 27/28 - they eloped. He never got to work much though, because he had his first heart attack at 26, but he did small odd jobs like being a taxi driver.

He was a funny guy. He was fond of rhymes and songs like "One Fine Day...", claiming things like "hit by the ugly tree?! I AM ugly tree."

[41-Inches-Wide]

Wow, all these quirky families! Makes me realize all families are inherently funny.

[Shoeberto]

Mom grew up in a small community and comes from a very matriarchal family. She has three sisters and one brother. When the ladies on that side get together it sounds a lot like a hen house. They can be a little melodramatic but they love to joke and have fun most of the time. Her only brother got screwed over very badly by his ex-wife about eight years ago when it turned out she had blackmailed people out of about six figures in cash because her business was a failure, and when she found out the feds were on her she cashed out all of his assets and ran. I don't think either he or my cousin will ever forgive her for that and all around it's still a sore spot in the family.

Grandma is a very strong woman. She's an excellent seamstress and worked in a sewing store for many years. She likes to have fun and is still very active. Grandpa is not as active anymore. I have a lot of respect for him because he's done a lot with his life and he's never done anything to show me that he's anything but an honest, hard working man. But between his heart condition and his legs (he had one of his hips replaced before I can even remember) he can't do much these days. It's sad to see him so depressed and just trying to stay out of the way. Everyone knows he doesn't feel well most of the time and tries to be nice. For me I'd just like to see him have a peaceful death rather than living in misery. Which is kind of morbid, but seriously, I have nothing but respect for the guy.

Dad's side of the family is very messed up in a lot of ways. Two of his grandparents were very good people that I didn't really get to know, but he loved them to death. He didn't see the other set though after his sister was molested by his grandpa. His parents are ty people. I know a lot of people beat their kids back in those days, but I imagine a lot of people who did it at least showed some love or support. Dad and his siblings were just inconveniences to them. They never liked my mom, and when they said she was pregnant with my sister, dad's mom said she was "too young to be a grandma." They are ty people who have made no attempt to be a part of the grandchildren's lives. Hell, they didn't even want to come see my sister's son after he was born.

My uncle is pretty cool though he and dad can get into it sometimes. Things have been a little more tense since the factory closed that they both worked at - though dad left about a year prior to it. His kids are okay sometimes but eh. Sometimes they make it their personal goal to annoy the hell out of me. My aunt, well, she's more with dad's parents. Her husband is a dick and she and my dad have had a shaky relationship for a while now. She has also made no effort to see my nephew despite multiple invitations.

I guess that brings me to my dad. My dad is a pretty awesome guy. He never got to go to college, but he never let any of his past keep him down. He started working on the floor of a factory and by the time he left he was basically running the place. He hated his job, deeply. I mean... he pretty much went through hell there for years. But he didn't quit until he had something else lined up, because of his wife and kids. He loves us deeply and has done everything to show it in a way that he never got growing up. On his side he is always the peacebringer, the most mature one willing to invite people over even though they're total assholes. He's raised me with a stern voice and nasty looks but never violence or threats.

Mom keeps everything running! Sometimes to a fault; there was a point when we were going through some hard times and she didn't let it show. She just kinda kept the finances a secret. But she's very caring and supportive and she hates my dad's mom! Just like me. Sometimes I can just talk to her and she seems to understand. I dunno... she's just very much a mom. I feel very comfortable around her.

My sis is full of spunk and likes to have fun, but she's also very, very mature. I'm hoping she goes to get her bachelor's after her son grows up a bit so she can get out of the teller world at her bank. She just has so much more going for her. We've never really fought much, though to be honest we drifted a bit when we both hit our teenage years... but she's still very caring and loving, like mom. She had an awesome son last September named Jacob who is very fun loving! Seriously, he's one of the coolest babies I've ever met. He's just so chill and loves to laugh and play. She's married, and my brother in law has done a lot of growing up in these past years. I'm very impressed with his character now compared to a few years ago, especially since they had Jacob. He's a very caring and doting father. They have a fun siberian huskey, as well.

We have a cat named Cookie. She's getting a little old, and she's fat, and likes to bite when she wants food. But she also loves cuddling with me, so...

[rubah]

Cookie also likes to suckle. Go fig, right?

[TheyLookLikeStrongHands]

my father and mother are the same person.

[Old Manus]

THE BATTLEFIELD, amirite?